Check out our November Schedule! Link is right above this......

2 Shark players are going to take a crack at the Aussie Millions and take it down for our Army! Winner at Poker.com was Marvin18. 2nd was Borny13. Bubbled player mushrat had a great day and just missed out. Email me for a shirt mushy. Size and address. Great job working your way thru a minefield of 567 Aussie wannabes (including me). Shark finished just outa the money (200th) and was never a factor. Good Tourney....Good luck in the Main Event you 2! Email me with the story if you cash or win. Top six at Caribe on 29th and Poker.com 10/30 event slide into our Championships held in late November.

Top player on Tour currently is Cardluvr. My Veteran Shark bud is unstoppable right now. Congrats to you sir! If he slings a bet yer way just take a potty break. It won't turn out good.

Netsurfer John agains come through! Check out our sweeet schedule! Folks, please check out 11.13. This is a Poker blowout, send yer family to the neighbors, check rayzn extravaganza. 3 Tourneys, a ton a swag and about 2000 of my closest friends. Launch boners on yer hero all day ($20) and a few on my Staked player Team also (BORN, GAR, Sweetness, Conn-air, and chip slingin TD, TexasDan). If the warden plays you can have $20 for her rail toss also.

Gifts like Online Poker Training, Hats, Shirts, Flash Drives and illegal stuff I don't wanna talk about joke. I am lining up the three sites next for 11.13. The best offers will be added to the schedule. Clear your schedule you minimum bettin' monkeys! It's time to throw down for Nov. ,33 events at our two sites and lots of early events for my worldwide laggs.

I played at UK player loaded Poker.com this weekend. Great site, software and lil green dude laughs when I did a lol. I love dat lil feller. UK rich? hmmmmm. Now I know this isn't all of you UK'ers but man some unreal donk action yesterday! ha! It was like Caribeadonkulus watchin guys with no clue chase 2 outers and call 300 raises with 10 6o outa position.

Great stuff. They are not gonna like my army much. We will tear those guys up there! I hope we go back soon.

Or they can join us and we will all improve together. 10 6o outa position, what are ya hopin to hit on the floppage? ha! Well he did hit 2 pair and the boat (6) came on turn, but luckily his all in somehow alerted yer hero that a big hand may have been dealt. He was so excited when the 6 came out he bout broke the all in button. I remember doing the same thing before I learned that you make the most of big hands. Especially against an agg playa. He missed out on at least 500 chips as I had top pair good kick.

Good reports from all at Poker.com. I need to check our numbers there (many had already been signed previous) but hope to schedule another event or 2 this month. 2 reports of great customer service also. Rare in this biz. Nice job Poker.com and super rep Chris!

60 MINUTES! Till shuffle/deal at POKER.com <-----Click Here To register

Sorry about the spacing and paragraph problems below. Tried to fix three times no luck. Will do later. Check out the SMACK throw down thread I started here!

http://sharkpokertour.com/phpbb2/ Top Forum. Post your place today and what happened to yer lame ass to miss out on this great trip...... Top 2 post your excitement and love to Sharkmasta.

2 Shark aggressive players (1st, 2nd today) will then soot up for the Aussie Millions Main Event Satellite! In that event at least 1 player (maybe more) will win a $12K trip/pack


Lets dance.......ladies. Register now at Poker.com (link in title above) and then get your password from our shark site

hat, backwards......grey goose...NEAT please, ty Raisin,..........sklanskys hand rankings nearby (j/k I got dem down cold)....shades, (ray bans or maui jims)...........check, check,check,check. Its on.

Man, I love not having a real job! Sure i'm working 18-20 hr days right now but that will cool down when this growth spurt subsides and I increase my organizing. This week I set up my whole office. I have everything I need to run the "land shark" thingy dealo.

Big pro copier, scanner, 2 computers (4 screens), fast printer, color printer, FAX, laptop. Sweet setup! My laptop locked up Sat. and scared yer hero. It was just a blown wireless card and I have a backup so nice easy fix after a pro diagnosis. Already placed an order for another Lappy (xmas please honeybunny) so I can run 2 screens in hotel rooms. I think we may be traveling much more in the future. Also, nice to have a backup laptop if you use it 18 hrs a day and can't work if its down.

Mines beefy (dell inspiron 5100) and runs kinda hot (web guy says dells do) so I have a nice targus fan setup below Mr Lappy. He stays cool while i'm torturing the donktropolis that is Caribe Sun.

The new lappy will be lighter (quick road trips) and will have less apps on it. I have one in mind but suggestions would be appreciated. I want to load just what I need on it, be light and powerful. Quality is always more important to me then price. I have read the $500 laptops out now are crap. Rather spend the money and get a good 1.

Met a new web/computer/network guy yesterday and he slapped more RAM in MR Lappy and I really notice the difference when 4 tablin and running 1 word program and 2 excels at the same time. yes baby.

Have fun today kids! Watch out for Sharkettes practicing for the Ladies throwdown at AP on 11/2. Man dem grrs are good. Chip_Tricks says SempJoAnn is the top lady player in my crew. She may be right but that is certainly HIGH praise coming from her. Chippies is a very strong and feared player site wide. I immediately get a table change from support if either of those 2 or Nitrolcide, Sovereign are at my table. Management has its privileges.

I just cut/paste this

Dear Support, this is the powerful web magnate Sharky. I need a table change immed. and poket KINGS (don't wanna be to obvious). Wait 6 hands then deliver the ACES, baybeee. Please enter into software that if any of these #*+#$*+ grrs are at my table again "auto move me". Put me with BORN or cardluvr, I can handle them.
I'm da Shark for gods sake. Kindest Regards, Shark

muhahahaha

Another Final Table and 2nd place for SempJo at Titan this week! I think there were 400 players in that one (not sure). She can't be stopped (only contained)! Who do you think is the first Sharkette to be on our Staked team? Its gonna happen soon...Stay tuned and soooted up.

Shark

The Army SOOTS up for a big weekend!

Special thanks to 2 members of my great team. John "Netsurfer" and Tim "Titokhan" have been helping ole Sharky out. Tim built the banner above and 2 others I will be showing off soon. Great job Uncle Tito! Netsurfer John grabs Shark Hall of Fame mention for his unreal web work. Guys a pro. My blog is almost complete and he just nailed the job! Couldn't be happier. The last 2 days he also tore into our new forum and made it one of the best on the web, IMHO. Sure i'm sending him swag but he really just wanted to help the team. I'm not worthy.....

Thank them both if you see them at the table. Both are strong players, so good luck taking their chippies. Thanks again guys!

Last chance to qualify for our Global Invitational! Top 3 players in the last 2 events for October will be invited. $1000 added Freeroll. All Cash! See the Shark Tour prizes page for additional prizes.

Caribbean Sun, 10/29, buyin $5 +.50 8:15 PM EST, Lets go kids, saddle up and head on down to Caribe. Small field means quick and easy cash. Take out Shark for a Tee Shirt. We need a big turnout here so I am making a corporate decision. Top 6 will win a slot in our Tour Championships!

Get password here to play Shark Tour New to Caribe? register here first, then get password.

Poker.com 10/30, 2PM EST Freeroll! Special Time for our foreign crew. 2 Entries to the Main Event for the Aussie Millions is up for grabs! An incredible 12,000 prize package will be won in the Main Event. Bring yer "A" game on this one players. It's gonna be a battle. 3rd place bubbles and earns a nice Shark Tee and a Championship berth. Top 6 here will also slide into our Championships on the last day to qualify. Good Luck!

New Players to Poker.com click then sprint to the Shark Tour site and grab the password.

Ladies Only Event 11/2 at Absolute. The toughest Ladies on the Net prepare to throw down. I have a 4 way parlay bet and am predicting a win (or at least a final table) from chip slingers SempJoann, Nitrilocide, Sovereign and ChipTricks. There are others but I have been tortured by these 4 the most in the last year so those are my picks.

Ladies. New to Absolute click then go to Shark Tour for password (Yes, AP has passwords now!) Just over a hundred so should be a tough slugfest. Smack talk will be light. My Raisin has a $10 bounty on her melon so come and getit. The "warden" will also hand out a few bad a$$ tees. Email us with size if selected. Huge batch of fresh shirts are about 2 weeks out and are printed on back now also. S to XXXXL. Sorry BORN the Tank hat only comes in XXXL. So alterations are necessary.

This first Event for November kicks off our biggest month ever. 30 Tourneys will be played in Nov. About 20 at Shark Poker Tour and about 10 at our redesigned OnlineShark Satellite site (ready soon). More early (est) games for our worldwide members and more giveaways.

Our Jump Drive giveaway will be huge! Stay tuned to this blog for more. Our Nov. Calendar will be linked on the top of this page by the end of the month.

As I have been mentioning my goal is less emails and more info available online. Avid players don't mind all the emails and need the info to register and play. Less serious players just wanna drop in now and then and hate the barrage of emails that myself and the poker sites send.

I'll continue to put more up here to accomodate both. Remember, lots of help from veterans on our Forum also. Link top left.

OPT OUT if Poker sites are pounding emails at you. USA companies must have an opt out at the bottom. Some foreign sites you must request to be taken off. Remember we are playing for free at their sites. They have earned the right to pester us, IMO. You have the right to say no thx.

Ask our Pros a question in the Forum. They are doing a great job! Check out Gus Hansen clone "TexasDans" article on how to play an aggressive player. He lays out how to handle this common problem in a long and detailed post. Great stuff Daniel!

Please....Bet, Rayz or Fold! No minimum bets or minimum raises. Make a statement with your wager or muck it! Players caught min rayzin or min bettin will never receive Shark swag.

$110 Pot was scooped by Raisin in a 2/4 game last night. nh gg, hit n run we need the cash....

Have a great weekend........

Sneak Peak of our New OnlineShark Satellite Site. We are sending players to big Tourneys this year! Play against the pros and have a crack at a huge cash for winning a Freeroll! Stories about our great members, articles written by our top players and of course the Shark Staked Player Team grinds for big money as our 12,000 Poker crazies cheer them on! Want to be "STAKED"? Win some Tourneys! Send us your screen shots of big cashes. Leading Money Winner (2 weeks in) Doug Connn "connjure" sent us 8 screenshots in 5 weeks once. nuff said.

Shark and GAR begin there quest to knock Doug off his high bar this week. Born, Texas and Sweetness are poised to strike. 2 big cashes in Nov. and we do a 4 day trip report from Vegas.

Rough Draft of NEW site!

Shark Staked Player "ConnJurer" Takes Down PL Omaha Event!

Conn to left reading "deep thoughts by David Sklansky"

Only 2 weeks into our Shark Stake program and already a big win! 136 laggs entered this Pokerstars event (10/26) and it was an exciting final table. Shark was sweatin Doug and about fell outa me chair laughin' when this occurred with 3 left.

Big stack has approx 175K and Conn has 40k about 5K more then clown to right. Clown says lets chop! They all sit out and try to get a tourney director which always takes a long time but tonight its dbl. long (30 min.?). A fair agreement is made as they wait. 780 for leader and bout 460 for Dougie and tool boy. All like deal but when Manager comes in and lays it out (about what they agreed to, tool tyme says "sorry, I can't do that deal" haha. Run outa meds Dutch? I calm Conn down. Hes pissed mainly cause he got blinded down to less then tool boy. Doug you can win this. Fuck him (IM) Doug we need 820 not 460! Doug! Connman quickly rights ship and takes tool tyme, dutch, clown out in 2 hands! Enjoy yer 320, gg nh ty yw, m'fer. What a game!

It's on now. Doug (as you can imagine) feels like Ivey after a 2 day craps heater and is ready to throw down. Attitude is so huge and Dougs ready to end this charade now.

He quickly doubles up with a sweet boat QQQ66 and sends (nice guy, gentleman) Shatty home with just a story about what coulda been, 2 hands later!

This nice win puts Doug in top position for our staked team (4 cashes). But its early kids. Lots more Poker to be played and these guys have busy lives. If you would like to chat with any of our team we (Shark, Gary812, Born, Texas Dan, Sweetness, Conn) all have forums at the new Online Shark Forum . GAR and Shark have not played 1 event yet. Its on now. We are not lettin sum wader wearin', New Orleans lootin', Poker junkie take us down.

Drop by Dougs Forum today and tell him nice job. Please ask him all yer Omaha questions too cause Shark don't go there. Holdem and Trip Draw deuce-7 only for me.

Proud Shark! Thanks Doug! It's on now boyz, lets throw down..........

The Staked bank gets full we meetin' in Vegas on me, hummer Shark stretch, Born yer drivin. We'll pick up Scotty and Ed M and hit the streets. 2 big cashes will do it.

1st Annual Shark Convention, Las Vegas, NV., USA

I need all members HELP, please. Our new Forum is off to a great start! When you have time go to http://sharkpokertour.com/phpbb2/ register, poke around and make a post or ask a question. We will be improving it the next few weeks but thanks to member John B. "netsurfer" its really looking great! If you see John at the tables please thank him for such a nice job.

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Have sent 2 trip dates to our Travel Agent (Shark member Fred/wifey) for consideration. They are May 16-17th or May 23-24. I like these dates for a few reasons.

First, they are Tuesday arrivals in Vegas, That is a cheap fly day and cheap hotel days. Cheap means more can go. The Hotel is ho-hum but I'm not going to allow any members to be in rooms till 4am anyhoo and we do have GAR812 in charge of wake-up (6:30am) and continental breaky served by BORN at 7:05 am (promptly). The pool looks very nice! http://www.imperialpalace.com/stay.php?subid=12

What I need now is emails or posts of all that are pretty sure they will go. An early head count is what i'm trying to get here. I will post emails of recent players that are in asap. It won't be written in stone but it will help our agents. Also, I like Vegas. I likeit aloock.

We are stayin for at least 5 nites. I want to leave that option open so tell me if 2 days is not enough. Some can fly home, the rest of us monkeys can head to the Palms for sum nice No Limit Tourney action. BORN get the Shark limo fired up! I hate to see someone fly across country for 2 nights but do what you can. If we only get a few commitment (first try on this) Raisin and I will still go and meet our 3 best members (lol).

I will be buying all Shark Conventioners a fine din din (true) and also throwing in free show tickets (Mirage Volcano Show). Hotel we are trying on first is Imperial Palace. I think Chippies idea of Harrahs as backup is super duper. The location of Imperial Palace is as good as it gets. Right across from the Mirage and famous sleeping tigers. You can tap glass and disturb them, they never move.

Middle late May is great pool weather but not too hot. Probably 88-95 or so. I gotta get sum sun on me Phil Hellmuth man boobs or Raisin gonna dee-vorce my sad existence.

3 New Tourneys up tonight! Our Road Game, Shark Tour.
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No minimum bets or minimum rayzin! If caught you will never get any Shark swag (even if promised) http://www.sharkpokertour.com/ http://www.onlineshark.com/

HU match today, Pokershare/UB 4:20 EST

It's a Final. JOSH played tuff and came on strong but yer hero (me) brought his "A" game and schooled Josh 6-1. Stay tuned as another one of the Shark Army gets an opportunity to be humiliated soon. Lets dance.....

Gummybear....thunderboy. .whatever yer name is this week ....you are the next contestant in the Shark battle to crown the World HU Champ....Bring it Tommy.

Picured: Red Hot (en fuego) Shark Tour Playa (and Mafia Lawyer) Josh takes on his hero today! Josh has been final tablin like Ivey lately...

Bring yer lunch Joshie...

$5 sit n go. Me_Josh vs. Shark Josh scores $50 for win (ha!). Come and watch if you like.

Rules are in previous post. 4 outa 7!

TOUR NEWS! Shark Bites! <--------click here for NEW Shark Forums

Shark helpers needed! We are building our new Shark Network Forums. All the graphics and Banners are not up yet but could you help me out? I need suggestions and ideas to make this a great forum. I have started a few columns and pro Q & A's. What would you like to see here? Take a look at what is up and then help me out and make a post (or 3). This should be informational, fun and most of all, a place where you can learn to play better Poker and improve. Ask a Shark staked player a question. Become a better player now. Please register there ASAP (Shark email/pass will not work, you must re-register here) and make a few posts and send me some suggestions. No tee shirt or hats here. Just a plea for help to all my great members.

http://sharkpokertour.com/phpbb2/index.php

This is very important. All our sites (soon to be 5) will use this forum. I want this to be a huge information area for all to be involved in. If it gets really good (lotsa visits/hits & posts) then I will be able to sell advertising on it and that will benefit all of my members. More money to me means bigger freerolls and low buyins for you. Why do you think Cardplayer can have 1500. freerolls and Pokersharks or whosyerdaddyitsmeyerfavSHARK.com is only doing $50? They sell ads on their forum and their freerollers benefit from all that beautiful advertising cashish...cha cha ching..I call it "sellin' air". I want every loyal member to sign up, make a post (or 6) and email me with a good suggestion for our new forum. What did you see at another forum that was really cool? Longest list of good suggestions will get a nice surprise from yer hero (me).

http://sharkpokertour.com/phpbb2/index.php

Our next site is a Casino site. This will also be involved with our Forum. Casino threads are encouraged!


10/22 2PM EST "The Fish Tank" $5+.50 Sweet Tank Hats for all that play. Email Shark with home address after event if you play. $25 to launch poor ole Shark. Shark tee to bubble boy/grrrrr. I'll try to get some late entries in, join now. Register your screen name now on our Tour site. New players to the Tank, click Tank banner on our schedule page, then register on Tour site.
________________


Runnin outa time! Top 3 get in the Global Invitational $1000 Freeroll! Oct. 30th last chance. Shark sportin' his "Shark Powered Network" hat (above)!

________________


Great sign up at STACKS Poker is under way! Register here now. Huge Freeroll soon. Leave Bonus code area blank. Beta Testing is under way now.
http://www.stackspoker.com/?signup=st527501

After registration email Stacks here to be a beta tester. Free Tourneys, great software and fun site. StacksPreviewPlayers@stackspoker.com


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10/30 2PM EST Freeroll, Poker.com Poker.com is Freeroll CRAZY! All day they add money for their players. Our first event here will pay 2 slots in the Aussie Millions Main Event. These $110 seats will give our 2 members a shot at a $12K Package to Australia.

Launch Shark for $25 BONUS!

Register here, then enter your email on our Shark site (sched. of Events). Registration by password will start 48 hrs prior.

http://www.pokercs.com/_b3ac7b835e996dbde4d515c6d7cbb38b/


__________________


Shark is back to Poker full time. YES! I will be playing with my great team often. More knockout bonuses, red hot Shark Tees and bad jokes!

__________________


Titan Poker 10/26 9PM EST Password on our site soon.


_________________


We have been promised a date this week for our Pokershare Freeroll! Thx for your patience...


_________________

Absolute Poker Ladies ONLY event! 11/2 9PM FREEROLL Up on our site today. You must register your email and "real name" where it says screen name on our site. This is how I can track you to AP, so no male sharks can enter (if under yer mans account email me to explain). Male sharks entering will be in big trouble with yer hero (me). Not good for you!

RaisinHavok (Miss Shark) will be hosting and taking yer chippies! Smack talkin just like me too (not). If we get a nice turnout, we will do this often! $50 added! Lets dance, chickies! Who will be the first sharkette to be a staked player?? $10 knockout Bonus on the Warden/Raisin. Raisin will pick a tee shirt winner or 3 also.

2 Shark attacks bring "Charterboss" & "MoneyMikeNY" huge Cashes!!

Upcoming Tourney News at bottom including just announced LADIES only event hosted by sexy minx and resident hottie, Mrs Shark, tough 3/6, 2 tablin "RaisinHavok" Support the warden!!

Shark Vet Charterboss Cleans Up! (pic top)

I love to hear all of your success stories. My friend, and long time player (10 months Mike?) scored a sweeeet 3rd place finish a couple nights ago and cashed $1600. Very nice hit, Mikey Fox! Proud Shark is not worthy!

Looks like Mike way "overchicked". New bride is enfuego. Shark dancin with yer bride in Spring o6 Vegas Mikey!

I really need to hear about my players success. If gets me jacked about my own game. Please do what Doug Conn did and send me screenshots (he musta sent 8 one month) so I can post info and get our members to see the opportunities for players that learn to play well and practice, then take down a nice cash. If you have never had a big cash believe me (and ask Mike, Doug) its a huge rush!

My first win (1400. UB $20) I just about woke up my whole neighborhood (4am we finished). The transfer of my new found BR (bankroll, Poker term!) was instantly in account and I stared at it for 10 minutes! Wow, i'm a player! You know, lookin back now, I really wasn't a player (3 month playin newb, no PT, no coach, playin 1/2 limit, 1 table).

I entered final table crippled and shortest stack by far. It was kinda sick how my rush started and never really finished. I had 2 boats and 2 flushes in key hands (huge pots) and quickly knocked out 3 players myself. One huge stack to my right, still had me double covered. I knew just enough to stay away from him. I had already seen he was the best player (very agg, poker term) in the tourney and was slappin everyone around like I do now in 20-50 buck events.

Many weak folds, as he punished the huge blinds while us newbs just wanted 3rd place for a sweet cash. Don't do what I did that night. Always checkin the payouts. ha! newb. Be aware of your place and prizes but don't stare at it. Usually 3rd place is good dough. 4th and lower are ho-hum. Thats in general speak, but you get the idea.

Many low buyin players are just hoping to climb one more spot and fold good pockets to agg players. Don't do this. Play to win! You see this on WPT show alot. Young internet player folds into money.

Seasoned pros use that knowledge to punish his blinds or come over the top knowing yung buck will wet himself and fold to a huge "strength" raise. Push half yer stack in (immediately, no hesitation, look him right in eye. I don't wear sunglasses in tourneys, i'm an actor. I gotta be bold. Not gonna hide behind shades, ever! I'm sayin to him "I was hopin you might try to push me around now what, PRO?!! Now watch his pro stones shrink. BEST feeling you will ever have in Poker! Its when you know you a playa... Try puttin a "strength" move like that on Shark legend gary812 or me sometime in a tourney. We hit the re-raise button almost before your chips get in middle. Might have a hand, might not. DON'T MATTER! ha!

Back to the tourney. My rush continued and of course the whole table was thinkin "shyt, he folds everything for 2 hours and now he's in every pot and the aggressor at table, whats going on?"

The big stack lost control of "his" table and now its just me an him. I launched maybe 5-6 myself. ha! I got him covered, but not by alot. I had practiced heads up a bit so had a clue. My guess is he was a much better player, but no stoppin me this nite. I finished him off in about 8 hands and he put tail between legs and cashed about 800. Hey, this game is easy (that night anyways). Never had a rush like that since. But if I do, I can win the Pokerstars 700K (140,000 win) and it won't be that difficult. Ya gotta dream!

Shark members ain't foldin into the money. You gonna win, then send your ole buddy Shark a sweeeet screenshot he can post for all to see! Dream! Set goals! What are you gonna do with your first 1400. cash? I bought my first 213T samsung and had it hooked up in 2 days (dell, 1 day delivery). I was hooked and wanted more. I played a fun game for $20, beat 300 players from all over the world and they send me 1400?

Get outa town... I want more! Bring it.......son!

I love this game. I want you all to feel this rush. I hadn't felt that rush since my wedding day or a huge win when I was 17 and pitched in an all star game win with a great team of friends that were all good players.

Competition is great! You can compete at this game when you are old, have bad kness, or even if you can't walk. Thats a big reason why it still continues to grow. Frustrated ex-jocks (like me) that need an outlet. Older, retired people that are tired of bad TV. Man, its really bad, IMO.

Plus, you meet cool people and have new friends. Make sum extra money too? YES, if you practice, read, etc. If you are playing for real money today and watchin TV, shut er down. One or the other PC or TV. Watch your table. Who's aggressive. Who can you push around? Print out sum strategy while you are playing. My shorthanded links are a great start. click here ya lagg

Again, if ya just wanna have fun and play for free, great! I'm talking to the players that want to be the next Doug, Gary, Born, Sweetness, Texas Dan. Guys that hate second and will check raise their favorite granny to take down a pot.

This link is the second best money you will ever spend if you are a serious player. I bought in 5 min. after watching the free video: click for best online poker coach

First best investment (and it isn't close) Pokertacker Software Free to try, but buy it! I have had it for 2 years and still learn more new info that helps me everyday I play (lately, no time to play, yuk).

It's not easy to set up or learn. I have help data for you and links to other great teachers of PT. I have sheets that will show you what optimal stats are (IMO). I developed these sheets last year after studying several pros stats on 2+ 2 forums. Many top players posted their stats and I poured over them for days. You play your own game (not mine). Just use tools I have, to help your game evolve. Read 2+2. Ask Greg Raymer a question on their forum or Barry Greenstein or many other top pros. 2 + 2 Forums.

Do a Forum search on Pokertracker. See what players that 8 table 20/40 say about PT.

Remember this software finds bad players for you as well as tracks your play.. If you play against me (or hundreds of other players that have great stats) for 100 hands look at PT, check my stats and if you are to my right (or left) just leave. Its gonna be a long day, you can find bad players with horrible stats all over! Recognize good tables and leave. Many players think they know whats going on by watching players. I'm amazed quite often at how PT stats do not jibe with what I think I am seeing. Recognize bad tables (with PT) and camp out. Say to yourself, "I appreciate finding a donkified table"! nh gg!

If you purchase PT from one of my links (write down date of purchase so I can verify) and start using it, here is the next step to receive my help. Load 5000 hands. Email me and we will get started. Do not send me 1000 or even 4000 hands. 5000 is minimum to see what your tendencies are and get you on the proper track. I prefer 10,000.

My help is free. I could charge (and have in past), but i'm just pushing you in right direction, you are doing the rest. Also, I don't have time to really coach anymore. My info sheets are extensive and will be fun to go thru as you start to become deadly with this software. I will tell you which screenshots of PT I need at that time.

As you become proficient tell your friends how I helped you become a winning player. Have them sign up at one of my sites and become a Shark member. Or forward this info to Poker players you know, it might change his BR. Forward to a friend is at the bottom of the bulk mails I send.

JUST ANNOUNCED! Ladies Only Event! We are looking for the next Shark staked Tourney player (grrrl). A Final table in this Mrs Shark hosted event will be a nice start in your quest to claim yer slot! Absolute Poker 11/2 9PM EST Money added! Any men signing up will be banned from our membership! I get a Tourney roster from AP, no cheating. I would hate to block your email/ISP from our team. Register on the Shark site only. Email and real name (not screen name) when our data base prompts you. RaisinHavok will be handing out Shark swag!

Read next 2 posts for more Tourney News and the HUGE WIN for soon to be Shark legend MoneyMikeNY (handsum pic to)! Hes "enfuego" (red hot) ed.....GAR! ed...GAR! ed....GAR! Comon GARy812 I need a win!!

MoneyMikeNY takes out Pro and rest of field at FULL TILT!

Sweet 2600 cash. ya baaaybeee (sharkism yes, baby). Mikes report (shark fine tuning)! 141 donkelicious entrants. Full Tilt (won't allow Shark to play private tourneys there even though close personal friend of Lederers step-mom) was the site/ $75 buyin and known Pro Aaron Bartley was sooted up. Mikey got on a rush and went thru this tuff field like a hot knife thru butta.

Interviewed by his hero (me) after huge win Mike had this to say:

Shark: Tell us about your nice cash NY Mike:

NY MIKE: WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, Not a bad day at the office huh? I sharked all the guppies.....

Oh, I'm a XL for the t-shirt :) (you got it buddee, email address and unregister from our ladies event ya putz, ha!)

Aggressive Shark player Sempai JoAnn writes about her first live Tourney

Aussie Millions Prize Package, 2 Sharkees will play in this Satellite Main Event , click
here to see prize package and here to deposit or play Free


Once again the Fischmans (Pro Scott, Manager Beth) support our Army big time. Check out our link on his sweet new site! Lets support them this Saturday......

"Scott likes to play with the feared online check raisin' loonies from the Shark Tour" haha, he scared to play us, I asked Dutch and Gank!

http://www.scottfischman.com/sflinks.htm

Check out his site (cool radio interviews with the undisputed "hardest workin man in Poker") Scott makes Vijay Singh look lazy.

This Saturday we are sooting up at the Tank! I promised Scott 50 players in this $5 event. Beth promised radical, bad a$$ Tank Hats to all that play!

New players to the Tank click here

Fill out "real player" info here, even if you don't deposit to play with us at the Tank.

Then Go Here Shark Tour and register your screen name

Get off yer couch, monkeys. Or as my ole pal Doyle Brunson would say "shark get away from me, you already got my autograph twice ya one toofed weak/tight flounder", Saturday throw down, 10-22 at 2PM EST (great time for our worldwide members as promised). Your hat will be in mail promptly. Your hero (me) will be slingin chips in this shindig and I will offer up $25 of my own cash to anyone that can punk me and launch my firm, but large ass. Bubble boy/grrrrr gets a stunning and highly desirable Shark Tee. ya bayyyybeee (sharkism = yes baby).

Please keep in mind, I don't lose heads up (HU) so if its me and you left that ain't good.....5 bucks to take a shot at your hero and legendary land Shark and $25 bounty. Soot up Saturday ya laggs.

Many requests for a nude Philly Hellmuth pic and I am searching thru my archives. I will be disappointed in myself if I own one, but will post if found.

Okay we rollin' now kids...POKER Action below! Enjoy this hyper aggressive man slayers story.

Note on this great guest post from one of my favorite (and best) players Sempai JoAnn. JoAnn is charging hard to be our first Shark woman staked player! We will be picking one in the next few months to JOIN our 5 men pros. We will have a ladies Tourney and keep track of our chickies that cash in our events or any that are sent in to me (screenshots). Chickies (lol) I'm funny (and not a feared a bad feedback, apparently).

Important when at a table with JO. Do not throw out a minimum bet. I tried that once with her and this huge stack of chips came flying at me (I ducked) from my 21' flat screen. I had to go have a smoke (and I don't smoke). Changed me shorts and have not hit the dreaded minimum button since! Show sum weakness with this chip slingin chickie, I dare ya, donkasauruses.

Guy and JoAnn will be hosting a cool chat/question/answer/poker/karate (Jo has been an instructor) Forum on our new Shark Forum. I am working on it this week and it will be ready soon. Get your questions ready for "he said' she said" with G and J!

Jo already received her first question...."JoAnn, why does Shark call girls; grrrrs, and chickies? Whats wrong with him? (besides the obvious stuff). Hey great first question for our NEW forum! JoAnn? Please reply to this Newb....

Save this URL to favorites, it will be up in about 7 days. http://sharkpokertour.com/phpbb2/

JoAnn wrote:

Now that Guy has shared his side of the story about our first tournament, I suppose it would be only fair that I tell you about it from my perspective.

Gambling is illegal here in the state of South Carolina except of course for the state lottery which of course helps education (wink) and is heavily promoted on television and in newspaper ads. It's kind of a crazy thing in my mind how that is so supported and yet it is illegal to gamble. When Guy and I moved here we had only just watched poker on TV.

By the time we moved to South Carolina poker was becoming extremely popular with more and more players playing online. Well, that's where we got our start. We each have done relatively well online and have developed our own styles of play based on the tight-aggressive theory. We love playing in tourneys and the sit-n-goes.

Living here in South Carolina does pose problems for anyone who wants to play "live". We have tried here and there to hook up with some people but it has always been to no avail. We have found charity tourneys in places like Georgia but just have not had the time or the cash to make that trip yet.

So yes, it was a Wednesday afternoon that Guy found the ad for the tournament benefiting the Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation. Hey, sounds like a good cause! And a chance to play poker, in SC, we just had to do it. By the way, the macaroni and cheese was not so bad for a week! (LOL) Two weeks, might have been bad, but not one!

The tourney was on a Friday night and I had to TRY to work all day that day! I am a medical transcriptionist which does require a lot of concentration because I am listening to doctors dictate into their little machines and then I decipher it. That particular day it was very hard to concentrate. Needless to say, I stopped early, very early. I remember we ate pasta before we left because like any good athlete I wanted to have energy, figuring that it was going to be a long evening. And off we were!

The tourney was in what you might call an all-purpose room of a church in downtown Columbia, SC. There was a kitchen where they ended up making and selling hot dogs and sodas from.

The room was really very crowded. They were assigning people to tables by drawing names and for my first table I was surprised that Guy and I got seated together. Great, I'm starting out with one of the strongest players I know. Oh well. One thing that was odd was they allowed children, yes I said it, children to play since they didn’t consider this gambling (there was no cash prize but I'll get to that issue later). OK, this went over really well! NOT! But what could we do, we couldn't do too much.

As the tournament got underway it was clear who had played, who had not, and I learned that kids will say "all-in" just to sound like the guys on TV! Some players were like us, only having played online and then there were others who had never played at all! And the dealers - yikes! It took awhile for things to settle down and we eventually got down to serious play.

One hand that I remember at the first table was an interesting one. Only a couple of the kids were still in (one got really lucky and one a HUGE pot early). I ended up with two clubs in my hand, one of them being the ace! OK, time to do something. With only $1000 in chips to start, I really wanted to get something rolling. This fellow sitting next to Guy (who was to my left) called, I raised. The flop had two clubs. I had to decide how to play this to extract as much as I could out of him! He bets again. OK, I raise. Fourth street, the final club I needed comes out. I felt very confident in my hand, knowing that I could not be beat. The guy bets again, once again I had to do it, I heard my voice say "all-in". I had this twisting feeling in my stomach as the words left my mouth, it was like someone else was saying it. It felt weird. Oh yeah, then you had to tell them how much you had! I forgot about that part, I got really used to just clicking a button! Once we figured all that figured out and the guy turned over his cards, my flush was the winner and he actually had to ask "does that beat my hand?" As I said earlier YIKES! What a rush that was! I did like having that nice pile of chips!

I don't remember much else about that table except I was glad that it was broken up. The youngins didn't make it through and the dealer didn’t want to deal and he let us know "I'd rather play", and it showed, he wasn't that good of a dealer. Hmmm, I wonder if he was a better player! LOL.

At the first break Guy and I were separated which was good and in another way it made me nervous but I thought, OK, now it's time to get down to it! The people were very nice helping me navigate my chips and the wheelchair to wherever I had to go.

On to my next table, that was where I met Jennifer. Now, Jennifer did not know what she was doing - AT ALL. She was just extremely lucky (not to mention extremely blond, but I digress). Anyway, she was one of these, what I call "card wavers", with no concept of keeping her hole cards private. Hmmm… Once again, I was looking at my chip stack and was becoming the master of folding (I haven't seen that much folding in a Chinese laundry), I just kept being patient.. eventually it HAD to pay off… Right? Finally, a pair of aces just happened to come my way… Jennifer kept batting her eyelashes and winning hands, I just had to STOP HER! I felt lucky at this point and said those two words, "ALL IN" (I was getting used to it - LOL) and of course, she called (was there any doubt). Everyone was shocked that I beat her (by now she had a bunch of fans behind her), and I was happy as could be! YES, another big win!

The tables got narrowed down some more and Guy and I were both still in this thing! I knew he was doing well because I could hear all the commotion when we got down to two tables. The Final Table was in sight. At my next table it was getting tougher with the blinds and antes I was just trying to be as patient as possible and hang in there. I took a couple of small pots at this table and it was enough to survive.

After the next break we were down to one table. I made it to the final table and I was so proud of myself! First live tournament and made it to the final table. Now I realize this was not the WPT or WSOP, it wasn't even for much really, just a fun night out to help a good cause! But.. It is a start to what I hope to be a great poker career!

The strange part about this whole thing was that the only person who would win ANYTHING would be the first place finisher - the first place finisher would get a beautiful chip set and a really nice looking glass trophy. Nothing for anyone else! YIKES!

I remember pulling my wheelchair up to the final table and some guy saying to me, "wow, what are chances that you and your husband would make the final table?".. My first thought was, "well when you play like us, the chances are pretty good.. duh…"

Ok, so here's the final table. We started out with 10 people…

By the way, Jennifer made it to this table….. arrrggghhhh. One guy, the one who asked me that stupid question by the way, went out first, he was really down to nothing. Then another fellow made a move as he was getting down to nothing as well. By now Guy was really playing aggressively, I was just looking to survive. Finally, the blinds and antes were becoming increasingly hard for me to not do anything. In fact, the last hand that I played I didn't even have enough to cover the blinds. And then there was Jennifer… AGAIN! I think I got like 8 5 way off suit as my hole cards and Jennifer was in the pot as was Guy, everyone else stepped aside. The flop then gave me two pairs and now I was so very happy. And then IT happened. Jennifer bets and Guy says something to the effect of.. and he says it very sheepishly…. "well I guess that would put me all-in…" So I'm figuring, I will at least be able to survive a little longer. Then he turned over his hole cards which happened to be two ACES!

At that moment I was in shock! Jennifer had enough chips to survive losing that hand but I did not! Eighth place! Everyone shook my hand except one player, the one who was raking in HIS chips, the one that I married!

I had two choices here, I could roll around on the floor and do a Phil Hellmuth or I could just push the wheelchair back into a corner and watch from the rails. As I looked at the floor I realized it was pretty disgusting and dirty, so I opted just to sit and watch!

It seemed like a long time but my husband came in second place and even though I HAVE to give him a HARD TIME FOR TAKING ME OUT, I was actually very proud of him!

All in all it was a good first experience at live play and of course it was for a good cause! Problem now is, I can't wait to do it again!… Look out VEGAS!

Headline News! Shark quits his JOB!

Thats right kids. Today a 800 lb Gorilla was lifted off my back. I'm once again a full time Pro player and internet marketing guru. And i'm still the proud papa of the most aggressive buncha, check raisin' animals on the net! The Shark Powered Network is expanding as you know and this will free me up to sleep more then 3 hrs a night and see my lovely Raisin and 2 cool daughters more! They are tired of seeing the back of my head as I spend every waking moment typing and dealing with all the headaches that directing 20 tourneys a month brings.

Quick note on job: Nice dealer that failed to tell me they had a sales meeting every day you were scheduled there. And if you were not scheduled there they had one that day also. ha! Yesterday I spent 75 minutes learning how to greet a customer as a knarly lookin ole, $30 suit wearin' Toyota shill (snoop to make sure we doing all processes) lady wrote notes and made our very young sales mgr. nervous. He's a good guy and I felt sorry for him. She even had the audacity to stop and correct him once! ha! Gal that couldnt work at Walmart in that wrinkled suit telling a successful car mgr to do it "her way". Now, I like customers but I learned how to greet them years ago. Thats enough car shit, i'm lookin forward and never goin back!

Get the van warmed up RAISIN, we movin' down to the river! cha ching..oh boy......rayz it up......son!! More after I get back from all you can eat sushi with our Graphic stallion Brennan! He does all our logos, sites, biz cards and of course bad a$$ Shark tees. New batch, 2 weeks out (costco) small to XXXXL this time. 14.95 all you can eat sushi....take it down! Large Kirin followed up with a nice 05 Sapporo (large also please). They gonna have to take out a second to stop me today.

Shark Makes Bonehead Error!

IMPORTANT NEWS!

I just accidently erased all player info (email and screen name) for Pokershare Freeroll, $800 added. Tourney is back up here http://sharkpokertour.com/index.asp Please go back in and re-register.

New players to Pokershare click here and register first, then register at Sharks site.

Very sorry, first time I have ever done that. There goes my shot at being Tourney Director for the 2014 WSOP.

All 400 please help me out and enter again!! Announcement very soon on Date!!

Just loaded passwords for 2 Titan Events this weekend! These events should be up on Titan soon. Remember last push to get TOP 3 players from each event into our small field, $1000 Global Invitational. See our "prizes" page for more on this monster shoot-out! ya bayybeeee...

Stay tuned......Fish Tank super bad a$$ hats like our Favorite Pro Scott Fischman wears will be given out to all that enter our $5+.50 buyin this Saturday at 2PM 10-22! All players! Not just new depositors! Lets go ya ATM's.......Up on our Shark site by Tues....
Fish Link for new players

No entries for my requested Poker Terms and Sharkisms. Please help me out so I can send a ton of shark swag including the upcoming and sweeeeet Shark polo. "Shark Powered Network" with knarly Shark brand will tell the whole room of donkeys that they better fold to yer raise or pay the consequences.

Last thing. Read below post about our great friends PokerPadre and Sempai Joanne......

Pokerpadre and Sempai Joann - Shark Veterans first live Tourney

From time to time I will re-post my favorite rants or posts. Here is my favorite post so far! Enjoy my friends, Guy and Joanne as they show some Shark aggression. Can you imagine the look on these poor peoples (mostly serious newbs) faces as Jo did her now patented check raise with half her stack!! ha! "scuse me dealer, I have to go to da baffroom". Dealer: "Ahh sir, the lady with the stack that has the whole room covered just put the action on you, you must act before changing yer shorts"! ha!

These are the thoughts I had as I read this vivid story. I like to crack up. Man, I laughed hard on this one.

How bout the shirts? Ah...ummmm....ahhh..Newb to Guy "what exactly is an "onlineshark"? Well we play about 20 tourneys a month "every month" against large fields and really great players like Born and best freeroll and low buyin player in the world Gary812. Our guru "Shark" tells us to crush players and have no mercy while you smack talk them and put down close family members and make them feel inadequate. Joanne and I enjoy stomping unskilled players until they have no desire to play Poker again. We don't like to play fields that are less than 500 but this is for charity, correct! ha! I crack myself up!

I laughed so hard I almost popped a vein:

Enjoy!

A little background on this Guest post from my good friend and Shark Vet Guy "pokerpadre". Padre and his bride (Sempai JoAnn) have been on our Tour since almost the start (1 year). They are very popular and are strong players. They had no trouble adopting my "fold or raise" aggressive style that I have preached in too many of my emails. As a matter a fact.....JoAnn comes over the top everytime I bet. hmmmm...I just realized that. BORN!

Guy is in beard (second from left, JoAnn is sportin the black Shark tee 2 players to Guys left).

But more important, they have supported me (ask to help often), gave me ideas and just are great people. I don't do many man hugs but Guy is getting one (Shark Convention, Spring) and JoAnn is getting several when I meet my virtual pals. Both Guy and Jo have qualified for our "Global Invitation" next month! $1000 (min.) Invite Freeroll with only about 200 players whom have qualified in the last 6 months. i'd be surprised if one or both didn't make a nice cash.

Both Sharkees were sporting their lucky and striking Shark logo tee as they tear thru this live Tourney (their first live play). I think handling the chips was the hardest part for both! ha! They know what to do when it's their action! Another Shark Tee and Fish Tank hat for the Guest post. Thx buddeee...

Okay, on to the great story

On a very quiet Wednesday afternoon I was reading the local free newspaper looking for anything going on that would fit our budget. Suddenly the word POKER caught my eye! Poker? Here in Columbia SC?? No way! Yes way! A tiny two inch by one inch noticeannouncing a charity poker tournament to benefit theJuvenile Diabetes Research Foundation.

They're having it the day after tomorrow! Seating is limited! Entry is $50 each!! Payday is NEXT week, and for both of us (myself and Sempai JoAnn) to play would cost $100. Bummer! Well, we missed this one, but I'll call to see when/if there will be another in the area. Nope, this is it for now. IF the event is a success they MIGHT try again NEXT YEAR!!! "Oh, by the way, the newspaper was in error. The admission is only $25 per person, but the seating is limited and filling up fast!" Wow $25??! Hmmm. maybe we should skip pizza Friday night? Hey, it's POKER!!.

Within a half hour of the phone conversation I was standing in the office filling out two registrationf orms and handing over $50 and contemplating a week of macaroni and cheese dinners. Finally, registered for our first live poker tournament. A fast drive home to give JoAnn the good news and HER question is "Where's lunch?". Oops, guess it's PB & J today. After the sandwiches I started e-mailing people who I thought might be interested and also logged into a couple of sites looking for SC players to let them know there was a local live tourney. Now to find out how well 1 1/2 years of online play has prepared us for live play.

Friday, Aug 19th, 2005, 7:00 PM, and here we are just an hour early for the fun to start. We sign in, find a seat (seating will be by lottery when we start), and watch the pandemonium. Guess what? They've never organized a poker tournament before;1000 chips? 2000? 5000?; 8 people per table? 9? 10?;15 minute levels, 20? 30? End result 10 players pertable (no elbow room) and 15 minute levels and 1000 chips to start, no add-ons; 10 minute break every hour.

Tables were eventually adjusted to seat 62players. Half the volunteers didn't even know how to play poker. I wish I could say the same about the players, lol. Out of the 62 people entered there were some questionable players, but there were also who had been playing online for a while and some who have been to B& M casinos before, an interesting blend of characters.

When we got started they fudged the lottery a bit and chose to put me and Sempai at the same table (I think so I could help her with her wheelchair), but after a few hands we were both moved to different tables, people were dropping like flies. I think by then they figured out that JoAnn certainly didn't need my help, she was kicking butt! We were put at adjacent tables, but my back was to her so I couldn't see too much of her action. I occasionally would check with the chip runners or Tournament Director to ask if she was ok and the usual reply was "Oh Yeah, she's doing fine." Meanwhile I ended up going all in and taking a huge pot (need to get their photo of that one) and started having trouble stacking chips fast enough to be ready for the next hand. A couple of times I missed a hand or two, because of no experience handling physical chips. Definitely a good problem to have, but made simpler when the Director broke out the purple 5000 chips to color me up.

While I was busy stacking chips, Sempai JoAnn got moved again. Now there was just my table and her table! A lot of the original players had left by now and the room had quieted down as the game intensified.That made it easier to concentrate on strategy and using my stack of chips to control the table. I'll tell you one thing, it sure is easier to trap fishwhen you have a huge stack and play ( or is thatprey?) patiently, crushing them when they try to make a move.

We were down to just four players left at my table and we were all watching Sempai's table waiting for their hand to end so we could merge and become The Final Table. Very quiet room. Looking at my chips and making room on the table for my cards, I was hoping they would be moving to my table. If I had to move to Sempai's table I would have to re-stack my chips over there and I was too keyed up with adrenaline to want to waste time not playing.

Time to move! Oh well, it's better than not having chips to stack at all. Table move also served as break time and photo opportunity (another of their pictures I need to get). A couple of people also used my camera to capture the moment, Sempai JoAnn andPokerPadre at their first live Final Table! Now I had to worry some because I'm up against someone who has watched me play for the last year an a half. And she has a stack of chips!! Danger Will Robinson, Danger,Danger!! LOL I start out tight/aggressive, trying to get a feel for the table dynamics without risking too much. Seems there is a very lucky player to my right, and JoAnn is two seats to my left. Tough combination.

Lucky Girl is getting a lot of help from dealer voicing what her actions are. If he says are you raising, she raises; are you folding, she folds. Also a lot of string betting for her. First few hands at beginning of the tournament, ok. MAYBE, but FINAL TABLE? Uh uh, I spoke up (not sure if it was politely), and voiced my displeasure. She was costing me chips. A lot! OK, no more string bets, no more coaching fromside lines, let's play poker! Well, well, what do we have here? PocketRockets!! 7 players at the table. A LOT of chips in the pot. I slow played my hand, letting the pot get bigger and setting the trap. The Flop: 3h 5c 9s,looking good, bet 2BB, four people still in. The Turn:8d, 2BB again, all three call. The River: As!!! Again, slow played 2BB, again all three opponents stay in. Sempai is low stack and puts last of her chips in, Other Guy calls, and Lucky Girl raises. I look at the chips, I look at the players ( especially Sempai andLucky Girl) and say " I guess that puts me all in."Other Guy folds and I smile (not realizing I just wiped out my wife, oops) and flip over my Aces. Most of the people were saying "Wow" while JoAnn was saying" I had that!! I had two pair! How could you do that to me?"

Again I was busy stacking chips, and didn't realize I hadn't even said "Good game" to my wife. She was NOT happy wheeling back away from the table. I missed a couple of hands again, doing my table house keeping, but started playing more aggressively. We were down to a short table of six and I wanted to press my advantage. Gradually the table thinned and it was myself, Other Guy, and Lucky girl. Then there were two! Me and Other Guy, time to go super aggressive.Pretty much raise ( or all in) or fold. We trade a few hands back and forth, more him than me, when I getQcKc and go all in, hoping to take the considerablepot and gain chip advantage again. Oh oh, he calls!As6d, I'm in trouble. Flop: 10d 5d 4s Turn: Jd River: Ad I MADE MY STRAIGHT!! OOPS!!!??? Other Guy takes me out with his FLUSH! ARRGGHHHH!

So close and then the sudden crash. 3 1/2 hours of intense fun. Great rush, great crash. Can't wait for the next time. Writing this brought back some of the rush that I felt that night and also reminds me, I CAN play poker. Great fun on the Shark tour this week.

If you have a good story, or just want to post to get a FREE shirt send me an email. If it gets posted you score a nice Shark Tee. It doesn't have to be Poker related, but that helps yer chances. Send a small pic of yer bad self also.

Shark prepares to "throw down" , Heads up today.....

With skilled Shark warrior and recent Tour Stop WINNER ME_Josh! Thats right donks, ME_Shark vs. ME_Josh HU at great new OnlineShark site Pokershare today. I was too busy Friday and he was duckin' yer feared HU Champ (and hero) yesterday. Its on today, Joshie....

Standard, Shark Heads up Steel Cage Death Match 4 outa 7 (u gonna need more then a coin flip to beat me, leak). If Josh wins (hard to type with a str8 face) he picks up a $50 online cashish transfer (at betfredpoker.com, ha!) from yer tired and broken down 2/4 playin (kill), ensure slurpin' leader. He also has prepared a caption to go below his pic on our redesigned OnlineShark.com site (will be up very soon).

As will be our std. HU challenge he can make fun of Shark in a few choice word, (within reasonable taste). How bout "I took his smack talkin, one toofed act down. It was like a knife thru butta" or sum shyt like dat.

Of course if"ME" or "Josh" if you prefer (ha!), loses Shark will have a few choice words for his lagg a$$ (caption below Josh pic) after he falls victim to the onslaught of raises and traps that signals the demise of another unprepared Shark member (get HU on Pokershare SNG's now and practice for a month like I did, donks).

Watch for Shark on your Ultimate Buddy software ( screen name _steamrayz_ ) today and watch our $5 sit n go table "throw down" This is not for the Intercontinental Championship but should be fun. Root against Shark, Josh needs yer support! Smack talkin allowed and may even receive a tee-shirt! Smack directed at Shark is always cool, but if you follow it up with "uh umm...just jokin Shark" or "you said we could smack on ya right, Shark" you will never receive anything free. This is weak smack and not encouraged.

I'm still on vacation (on the road in Oregon) but will check in every few hours to get this match in (there is a biz center at the Hotel, so I can check emails after check out, noon PST).

See last post for a nice update on "raisinhavok, thestudent (feared Shark playa), and Sharkys holdem play last night at great Poker room Spirit Mtn, Grande Ronde, OR.

Good luck to all my players (Absolute Tourney starts in 1 hr) that play today. Should be about 450 entries at our favorite Tour site and most loyal supporter AP! Thx to all the great staff at this premier Poker destination located in beautiful Costa Rica! Raisin and I will be there soon to beg for FREE drinks/lobster din dins from the wealthy yung fellers that run this outstanding site! Staff there (merange dancin' great support lady, Flor; always prompt Asst Tourney director Richard and legendary Tourney Mgr. Gian have been supporting our efforts since the start of this adventure 13 months ago. They continue to help our members daily and we are reciprocating with lots of deposits and play at their cool site.

As one site told me (no names will be mentioned, PARADISE, Affiliate Mgr STEVEN FREUND) you don't have any good players they are all .25/.50 players, we expected lots of deposits and ring play! And, sorry we can't support your Tourneys (after one event!, ha!). I quickly realized Paradise would not support our members. We played 1 event there and left (pulled all banners, also). While I was lookin for BORN or GAR! to visit this tool to have a lil chit chat about how we need a month (or 3) to build up play at a site, Absolute continued to help, support and add big money to our events. Joshua, and Noble Poker did the same. Joshua is now our rep at Titan and continues his great help. Joshua is a yung buck from NY that now lives in Israel (Where Titan runs ops).

I think its funny when Affiliate Reps/Mgrs. balk at adding $200 bucks for us to visit. Most have huge ad budgets and make a ton of cashish. Would you give me $200 to promote your Poker site to 12,000 up and coming Poker players? I am a pretty good promoter, no one denies that. I think its a great investment (for the future) and don't ask for money to go to me, just our event. Dear Mr Affiliate Rep., Will you be disappointed when I have 50,000 players and want $1000 min. for a freeroll? Will you wish you treated us better then? ha! Great game! I love it!

Coming soon...PokerBlue conference call confirms their $500 added commitment to our first tourney there! Banners and links as soon as I get back to my office. Also, Poker.com has committed to 2 - Monte Carlo $110 buyin entries for our first event there! These Satellite slots will be the theme of our new redesigned site, OnlineShark.com (coming soon). Each event will have satellite entries so that our members will have a shot at Aruba, Paris, Monte Carlo Trips and other great Tourney events. I am sending players to the WPT also on this site (I hope)!

Who's going to win the first trip? Do you want it? Should be a fun site. Heads up tourneys, omaha, triple draw deuce-7, ladies only events, 6 seated events, limit events and more are on the slate at this site.

More rants on Paradise.....

Please do not support Paradise Poker. I hope that someday they will replace this affiliate mgr and then we will take another run at Paradise. 700 Poker sites, we get respect and help or will quickly move on. As we grow we will get better offers and not have to deal with tool boxes. To be fair, Paradise is known for being a good site (ho hum software) with good customer service (rare in this biz).

Where are you Joshie? Here boy....here lil fella....i'm online and ready to throw.....down....son! Do not try any a dat weak/tight Hellmuth stuff on me today or it won't be perdy.

My bride, Raisinhavok says hi.....cya soon, Shark

Meetin' Friends and Playing Poker

Spirit Mtn., Grande Ronde, Oregon. We dinked around most of the day (Saturday), went shopping, picked up some nice kitchen stuff at Lincoln City. LC is a nice lil tourist trap but today the tourists are inside. Driving rain since we pulled in last night. We stopped at our fav internet cafe this mornin, Cyber Cafe. Sent a few Shark things out and sipped sum nice coffee. Stop in here if you want to use their computers or just hook up to the sweet WI-FI. 6 bucks an hour which is the same as Starbucks.

Realizing we were dangerously low on liqour we stopped and picked up several bottles of adult beverages, sum bloody mary mix and a few nice cigars. Oregon booze is about 25% less then Washington, so that was all the excuse I needed to fill up the backend of Raisins Grand Cherokee. oops -130. Hope I can play sum pokah tonight and pay fer da booze....stay tuned. Picked up sum margarita mix that looks good and will try that when I get home. The Jose Cuevo mix that raisin gets at Costco is just to sweet for me. Hope I found a new friend (1800 mix I think?).

I couldn't decide between Grey Goose and Smirnoff, so I got both. Raisin drives us back to the Casino (30 miles) as I fall asleep to catch a lil nap (averaging 4 hrs sleep per night, last 2 weeks). We head up to the room and pour a couple stiffies. Its almost 7 PM and still no Poker. I suggest we find Raisins fav game (4/8 kill) and get busy. She reminds me that I promised a big Neteller withdrawal so I comply and stuff her beloved "hundies" in her unorganized mess she calls a purse. You wanna see someone take fifteen min. to find a pen or nail clippers? Hang with my wifey.

As we head over to the large Poker room a yung feller in a striking ensemble (Shark old style shirt, jeans, cool wool hat) marches up to me and says "Shark!". Hey, its Joe Wong "the student" and long time Shark player (and winner). He mentioned he would try to stop by (hes 2 hrs away) and he made it! I introduce "the stud" (as I have called him for almost a year) to the warden and we head off for a nice din din. On the way we meet his nice Mom and Pop, Dad is a dead ringer for John Chan (maybe 100 pounds less) and mom has a great smile. We chatted and couldn't coerce them to leave the pai gow table and eat dinner on us.

Nice dinner, good times. We realize that Joe is only the second member we have met in person. The first was Charles Wheal (great guitar player from San Fran that invited us to Doc Maynards, a famous club in Seattle.......tix at door...sweet ya, we with the band..we bad...).

Joe is an outgoing 21 year old, marketing student and master Scotty Win impersonator. I bout peed me depends as he spouted Scotty speak and flirted with Raisin. She loved it and almost went home with him instead or yer hero. Maybe we can hire him when he graduates? Definately a sharp kid.

Okay, dinners over...Joes says "hey Shark, I really appreciate all your help this past year, you really have helped make me a good player"! Wow, I have lots of players that write emails saying the same thing but in person it's whole different feeling. Thanks buddy, you made my day!

Then he quickly changes the subject. "hey Raisin (he called her that, funny) lets find sum donks shall we?". Yes we shall my friend!

Joe grabs a seat at a 2/4 table (hey, hes a student) and yer hero starts with 4/8 kill. Raisin joins my table 15 min later and sits to my left. hmmmm, more training needed, but whatever, sit down ya cute lil vixen...

My std. buyin is 20X the big bet and with a kill I will tack on a lil extra. I sit with $200 and survey the donktropolis that is 4/8. I notice 2 guys I played last time here (only been twice) and they do have many regulars here. The Casinos are limited in Oregon so many regulars drive long distances to sit. My plan is to terrorize this table for a stake of $500 then move to the next game above (and only game above) 10/20 w/kill. I always stick to my plan and set that as a goal. Then i'm sittin at a game I can take 2-4 grand out of with only 200 invested. Its a good wager.

I quickly realize (maybe 1 hr) that the players here are better than your std. 4/8 see every flop ATM, no foldin, riv chaser. This is actually my preferred table and dream of 10/20 as I start taken down nice pots with major aggression as my tight play and big cards punish the A3o, QJo, or anything soooted (Harry Carey lookalike calls 16 bucks pre raise from Shark (kill) with K2s, ha!) that these guys play. Its still way better then most 4/8 games live but probably a skill level of .50/1,00 online (no exagerration). 4/8 at Tulalip, Marysville resembles play chips sum nights.

Raisin quickly realizes she in a bad mofo seat. ha! Had sum nice big pairs early and my re-raises may get old honey bunny, how bout you sit over by Harry Carey? She likes that idea and slides over next to this every hand playin, whiny guy that couldn't win at .01/.02 online. He just can't believe his K2s 85s 24s 56s 82s won't make a flush even though he pays me off (and anyone else)to see every riv. His stack of $200 will be distributed to all players eventually and I make a note to get most of them since I don't like his lack of skilz and constant complaints.

Side bar: I check on Joe to give him sum encouragement and hes chattin up a sweet asian grrr as he stack a nice stack a chippies. Hes up. Back to my table.

Its 2 hrs into our session when this hand comes up. I have 68o in mid position and after 3 folders, I decide to raise it up to rep another strong hand. 1 caller and raisin calls also which makes me nervous. Shes tighter then a baby seals sphincter, and likes to stay away from sharkeeee when I raise pre. But I also know she would reraise with AA KK QQ AKx and maybe JJ or 10 10 (good student). I put her on AQ or AJ and start thinkin of a way outa this mess, ha!

Flop comes 9 6 2 and I like it. Harry bets raisin calls and I raise. If my read is right raisin will look for the exits (shes tight right, no pair and i'm raisin) and Harry just wants to play every hand in case his flush chasin plan comes together. Harry folds to my rayz (huh?) and now raisin smiles and calls. hmmmmm. WTF? I stare her down and table laughs cause they all know we playin with shared money and she ain't backin down, lol.

I figure i'll keep bettin since pot is big and i'm probably gonna lose my $$ to my wife and thats a good outcome. We got Harrys money, right (again). Turn blank, I bet. She calls. Fold gdamit. Riv blank and i'm firin. No time to show weakness and the farce is over anyway. Shes got me.

I still hope my read of AQ or AJ is right but she doesnt usually call down good players with no pair. (good student).

I flip over my very weak pair of sixes with monster kicker and she tosses her hand in muck. ha!

I can't believe I took it down. I ask honeybunny, AQ momma? "yes but it was sooooted" Hey good read, nh, gg. Table seems impressed with my nifty read. Harry can't believe he folded the winner. No flush draw so decided for an early exit probably.

6.5 hr session ends at 4am Sunday morn. Raisin crapped out about 1am. Tally Raisin -60 (4 hr session) Shark +235 or 36.15 an hr, 4.5 BB per hr. Okay night, that never got me to $500 goal. Reached 460 twice and was eyein 10/20 kill.

I try to think positive and realize I paid for 1 nights lodging and a ton a good booze with this win. So, a cheap weekend was had by all. Raisin always seems to beat the slots for 100 or so and does it again today. She hits and runs which is the only way to beat these -ev 1 armed profit centers.

The warden is all packed and we are headin for more Poker and an early trip homeward. We always miss our best friend Cody and our girls Sam and Dan (even on short trips).

Cats will act that they don't know us when we come back and thats fine with me.

Be aggressive! Bet rayz or fold! Don't chase longshots or miracle turns/rivs! Don't be a Harry...

Shark

Special Request For All My Donkelicious Readers!

Several requests to see my mistress and 2nd love of my life. click here damit, scroll down to view The big badass 21" twins. This is the best "set-up" available IMO. There are good, cheaper solutions out there, but these are coming down in price. Samsung 213T is the model. I run Pokertracker in between these or more likely try to answer 300 IM's (at once) from my loyal crew.

While you gaze in awe at my grrrrfriends read the eMarkM Advanced Tourney play article. Its really strong stuff and a must read (3 times please). I read it once a month (really). EMark, Email Shark for new tee please! address and size!

SPECIAL REQUEST! I need help! Will you please help a tired, broken down, ensure drinkin', depends wearin', 1 toofed (gold), Mr T starter kit sportin', Shark?

Heres the deal. I have the biggest list of Pro players websites in the world (onlineshark.com), also the biggest collection of pro screen names on the net.

I need to have the biggest everything. Not sure why, hmmmmmmmmmm. Any shrinks out there?

I'm looking for the largest, most comprehensive list of Poker Terms on the net! Also, I want the biggest list of "Shark terms" you can put together. This list will be posted here for all to see. Don't be silly or write terms that no one cares about. Be professional about this, please.

The WINNER will get sum serious Shark swag (gifts). Shark shirt, Fish Tank Hat and Caribe Sun shirt! Other things to (don't want to say, may be illegal in some counties).

I get lots of requests for help from you loyal members. Heres your chance! Plus, you get sum nice swag.

If you have the best list of Shark Terms and Poker Terms you get all above. Ready? Heres a quick example:

I need it in WORD please!

List 1, Poker Terms

MTT = Multi Table Tourney
STT = Single Table Tourney, or sit n go
LAGG = Loose, aggressive player
TAG = Tight Aggressive player (what Shark preaches. Don't cold call raises in limit Poker, raise first in pot, always be the aggressor or fold.

Okay you got the idea.......

List 2, Shark Terms or Sharkisms

Fuck = Fuck Shark swears a lot. Even though I don't on my other sites, this is my blog. It's mostly real life and I swear to make stories funnier (at least attempt to). Comedians swear a lot. It helps put an exclamation point on a story or gag. If you don't enjoy swearing (or the ocassional grrr with limited clothing pic) i'm not for you. No problem. Play in our Tourneys and have fun. I still like you if you don't swear or act the fool, like I do. If you want to comment on what I do or say, don't. I could care less (really). This is just a blog, change the channel if you don't like it.

grrrr = Girls, Ladies, Women
grrrrs = see above
grrrrrrfriend = same as above, as in: shit grrrrfriend you can toss sum chippies! (extra r's just means I type bad)

BORN! = Sharks right hand man. He runs special ops, is a Tourney stud and staked Shark playa. He is also my enforcer and has several offers to be a Hockey "goon" in the Industrial League in N. Quebec. 6-5, 250 and noted barroom pugilist, if Born is not yer friend...... its not good. Fortunately he is a great friend and helps me often. I need a list of Satellites or new screen name list he sends it to me. I got a bad "tude" member he goes to their home and politely handles the problem (joke). Also locates strip clubs, makes prompt grey goose runs, and drives the Shark limo when in Vegas. I reward him with entries in BIG money Tourneys including the Stars 700K and UB Guaranteed 120K. Soon he will win one, be famous and Gary812 will take over this important job. GAR! GAR!

Okay, you got the idea. I'm off to Spirit Mtn Casino in Oregon. Gonna play lots of Poker and kiss Raisin a bunch. I way overchicked. Did you get a Sharkism there? Raisin?? whats dat? I'll have sum good Poker stories soon. Starting at 6/12 w/kill then will move to 10/20 and up if catcha heater. (heater? hmmm? rush? hmm).

This list is important to me. I'm serious about it. Search engines find Poker terms and thats goood fer Sharkeee. Also, many newbies, greenhorns, greenpeas Poker players need to know what i'm talkin' bout cause I hate to type and I type alot. Short terms really help me out.

Go thru my old posts and explain my goofy choice of words. Some I make up right before I type. Weird...

If you don't win but do a nice job, I will send Shark Tees (free incl. postage) to you for helping me out. Maybe 3-5 more shrts depending on how many helpers I get.

Get to work! I realize many of you really appreciate my hard work and over 160 Tourneys we have played in the last year (mostly free). Show me sum love kids!

As always, I appreciate my great Army of players all over the World! Hi Goran! (Sweden) He already has a shirt (2?) But I mentioned him so send yer pretty blond wifes size to me and she gets a shark tee! Oh man, postage to sweden sucks! Email me buddee!!

Shark Legend and Captain of the Shark Staked Team

Gary812. If ya don't like your chances against this man in holdem....maybe ya should try arm wrasslin' him?

Rumor has it, he recently was deported to Canada and Canada refused to accept him.

Gary812 would prefer Forum questions about Nascar, but you can ask him Poker questions also. This guy can move chips and is fearless. He not only has your hero Sharks number, but then issued him another number and took that also.

Since Gary is buried at work currently, he may only play a few events until mid Nov. Welcome aboard, sir!

My enforcer, and special ops director BORN! apparently is unhappy about my bossing him around and the constant chores that I require of him (strip club locator, grey goose chaser, limo driver). Look for a guest post from this too tight, short stack likin' goon next day or two. He should be refreshed since he only sleeps on thursdays. After taking a look at Gary812, Born may be out of a job soon. Should I keep him? Hes kinda skinny (6-5 250) and has a glass jaw. GAR!

Keep BORN or hire Gary? Comments please........

New player ideas from yer ole pal Sharkeeee

Shark members, read previous post for IMPORTANT info on our Tour!

This is a reply to a new rake back player (girlfriend of one of my best players). I try to drop a few "words of wisdom" on newer players when I have time, since this game can be difficult if you don't strive to be great. Everyone gets banged up as they move up. I fell back a level several times as I climbed the poker ladder.

I need long term players. If you get good, you will grow to love this great game, enjoy the extra trips it pays for and receive huge bonus and rakeback each month.

Plus the Shark convention (spring, reno or vegas) will be a gas. ----)"PLUG"(---- email me with "interested shark conventioner" in subject line. Growing list and we gonna have sum fun. Live tourneys against Shark legend gary812 or Sharks right hand man (enforcer, hockey goon, Matt "bornsupreme").

Maybe even semi famous Magician Doug "connjure" Conn will make yer chippies disappear as you search for answers (and yer hole cards) ha! "? Get outa town! Gonna be a blast. Lee "cev", Guy "pokpadre", Norman "luvs 2 gamble", "ugothosed", local Vegas legend Ed Matanane (knocked out Scott Fischman, then smack talked him, I heard Scott filed a complaint with support, hahaha), "sweetness", Paul and Rose Marie Lane, Prince Sheba, Takoa, V. Reid, and FLA madman (and new Shark Network partner) fast talkin', stack movin' Alex "hawk" Logan will be in attendence...Many more great friends I have made will be there.

Manly hugs will be tolerated for first day festivities only. Then we gonna play sum Pokah, donks! Sit n gos, Tourneys and good food will be had by all! All in attendence will score Shark swag (gifts), I am searching for my gunny sack race partner and have several lovely choices! Still in negotiations with the warden on the "nekkid" theme of gunny sack races, however. So far i'm wearin my speedos but talks continue. If you would enjoy being my gunny sack partner please write in and tell me why you a sick puppy. Grrrs only please.....

Don't miss your opportunity to see "BORN" get looped up and say to me lil bride "raisinhavok" "are those real missus sharky" or "why you marry a bald, one toofed land shark, you hot!?"

We are really excited to meet all our new friends!

Okay, back to Julies email:


Hi Julie!

Thx for the info. Now I process it. A rare free day today so will get you rollin and email back later today with needed data to get you in under me.

Hope James takes you somewhere nice with huge referral he gets! I hope its huge anyhoo, lol.

You have a good teacher there and I recommend getting PT if you desire to be great. Good habits early are a huge key in this game. If you don't get really good you will lose often, get bored and quit. Just my 2 cents. Good habits early is by far most important thing for a new player.

I hate play chips for new players (pick up bad habits). Playing 2 or 3 tables early is good also. Helps with variance and also adds to rakeback and bonus eating. These are 2 very important things (James is seeing that when he gets $400 from me in a few days (much more on Nov 15th). You need this added cashish to even out the rough spots that we all have (I struggle just like James (we all do) and its difficult when some nights you can't beat inferior players).

I'm still trying to find a mouse like my fav one that I destroyed after 2 runner runners by serious donks in HUGE pots.Wife is the construction crew at my house (shes awesum) and didnt appreciate hole in wall I made, either! ha! You just can't WIN some days! But then my rake check comes! That covers 3 or 4 horrible nights and I get back in the saddle. Remember this when you get pounded (cause you will get pounded) These bad players need to book a few wins (or they would never come back). We need these ATM's! That is why the online game is sooooo good. A never ending stream of horrible players that will never read books, discuss strategy or use PT. They just wanna play! hahahahahha. They don't wanna play after meeting me short handed. I work on my game, and am not satisfied with being real good.

I have over 4000 free downloads of PT in my 1 year as a online shark. Only 4 have purchased! This proves my point. Most will not dedicate to being GREAT. Hope you will. If you just wanna have sum fun thats coolio tooo!

As you improve feel free to email questions, or you can always pick James brain.

I'm going to post this on my blog cause I have many new players. email your size and ill send ya a tee since i'm using this onsite.

Cheers, Shark

Busy Shark.....Rummy and fueled be Starbucks grande Americano (no room)

I'll take a sip then add about 3 oz. of Baileys since me lil tummy sensitive to it str8. Averaging about 4 hrs sleep lately and thats about 2 short of goal and 4 short of my fav. Heard Bill Gates sleeps 3 since his mind always runnin'. Thats me lately. Course, he has made it. I'm just strugglin to "make it". Sleepin ain't overated. When in Maui I go 9 hrs and will wet the bed before I will even get up if have not reached 9. ah Maui....Thats me spot. Been to islands maybe 10 times and never gets old.

Would love to have a decent shack near beach there someday (grandkids can visit in summer, i'll teach them trip draw deuce-7, kansas city lowball, with a kill) . NO casinos in Hawaii. Yuk...Only drawback. Oh well fire up 4 sits...lets dance donks!

check out this deuce-7 trip draw action from 05 WSOP. It didnt make TV (I think) since its kinda a unknown game except to serious card players. Its really fun and a serious "bettin" game. Lotsa chips fly. I play a bit on UB (usually 2-4 or 3-6) and am gettin good. Ask Born. Jesus and Barry Greenstein go at it on this one.

WSOP Triple Draw Action (good stuff) scroll down to "see it here"


Maui...5 1/2 hr flight from Seattle (not bad) . Had a kid kick back of my chair for 5 hrs on one trip. Duct taped him (about 8 yrs old, but mean) to overhead storage bin dr and then open and closed it 60 times till he puked...okay just thought about doing that. Man, do parents even think they should control kids on planes? Its always bad.

I can run this biz and play pokah from anywhere so thats a possibility. Just need my laptop, raisin, cody, and of course my mistress (21' samsung flat screen). the rest can go to goodwill.

Real estate went thru the roof there about 2 years ago so please do me a favor today. Go to one of my sites and clik a poker banner, register as a new player and make a deposit. Play sum crazy pineapple and holdem,,,have sum fun. If you want sum tips or help email me with a few direct questions. I'll give ya sum ideas.

The blog is a hit, I guess. 2300 hits in first 10 days, Thx kids.... I knew there was a nitch for another Poker blog, just needed a new angle. Hmmmmmm. I'll be the bad grammar, no speel check, car sellin', potty mouthed semi pro online playa with a chip on his shoulder and an enforcer (BORN) so no one tries to lay the smack down on me (kiddin, I can still fight just fine if anyone wants sum). I'll be at Tulalip Casino Thursday night ($110 buyin) if ya hate me. ha!!

Speakin of enforcers. Don't that BORN pic (yesterday) look like hockeys newest heavyweight contender/enforcer. Man. I gotta give him a rayz. Who wants a piece a that guy (6-5 250). Thats about the size of todays heavyweight hockey goons too. May be a contract out there Bornholio! Can ya skate? Wheres my G. Goose, son?

Started a real job yesterday. Toyota lot I spoke of in earlier post (welcome players, I think). I'm excited about "just selling" for first time in 10 years and no babysitting messed up salesman anymore. Man, drugs, booze got many messed up. My last dealership we coulda dun a drug test but it woulda been me, the owner, and 2 lots guys left, IMO.

Great , great dealer! I know pretty quick if its a strong dealer since I have 16 year in and have worked at many dealerships. I was a "hired gun" closer/trainer so bounced arouund a bit. I like that actually. You get to learn from many good car guys and also see sum you want to stay clear of forever. Bart, Luke, Dave, Dick Campbell, Terry, Darren, General are all guys I learned a ton from. New boss (Bailey) is really fun and has serious skilz. Will do well with him watchin me back. "T' also seems strong and is other boss. I will get rollin and have fun there. With over 200 used cars its a salesmans dream. Aother 200 new Toyotas makes this a juicy game. It will be hard doing 2 jobs but i'm hiring help and puttin my grrrrs to work to.

Was impessed with GM that interviewed me as well. You don't become best dealer in big city without having a good GM. All say he is fair but firm and thats how I like it. Never had anyone grill me so hard on an interview. Man, he was tough. Most take my pulse (hmmm, you are alive) and ask if I can pass a drug test, then make a nice offer. Lyle told me I might not make it there! ha! I said you must have not read my resume?? ha! He was just testin me, I do it when I interviewed salesman in the past. Its a great organization. Can I do both jobs and keep a wife? Sure, just gotta hire help.....no prob.

Need a car/truck or need help with difficult dealership? Email me with questions or I will give you link to my huge inventory. oops gotta run, off to sell a truck...

Just Announced! Shark offers top players a shot at a PRO Poker career!

Shown to left: Tourney Stud and Shark Enforcer Bornsupreme

As we build our ALL NEW Onlineshark Satellite Tour we will annouce some of our plans and dreams to make this site the Premier Independent Poker Tourney site in the World!

To achieve this we are going to have to be different then all the others. Heck, after I named my first site onlineshark (just 1 yr ago) about 8 other Shark sites came out. Pokersharks, dallas' sharks, sharkfinpoker, whosyerdaddyitsmeshark.com and other imposters. I choose that name cause it wasn't out there and I like to be different (no shyt sherlock). Now I spend my waking hours (21 lately, see server hit by lightnin post) not playing my beloved UB $100 entry nooooooo! I answer 50 people a day that wanna know why my Tourney (at betfredpoker) isn't listed on my site. "Don't you post PASSWORDS! You *^%$#+^# one toofed land Shark!"

As always I am calm, helpful and customer service orientated:

Shark: Hello "rudeboy213",

We are not whosyerdaddyitsmeshark.com..... Please inquire to their fine site as to what their Premier Poker site (ha!) would like to use for a fukkin password, you piece of shyt (easy, shark deep breaths ooooohm.....ooohhhhmmm.)

Whew..that was close (calmly sips his mornin' 20 oz ensure), almost popped a vein... anyhoo back to my strong soooot, cust, service:

I have taken the liberty to block yer email address and ban you from playing our events...ever. I have met yer type before and enjoy adding to my "banned" list daily, if possible. It's not personal, I just hate people that don't appreciate me and our FREE stuff we give out (including cash).

Please do not email and beg to come back. I never change my mind and just block your address when you respond to my email. Lotsa Freeroll sites out there!

Please....call, check, hit minimum button or fold!

yer pal, Shark

Lotsa tools out there and I sincerely enjoy twistin' them up. Do I worry about a rabid Poker player on the grassy knoll behind my trailer(single wide)?? ha! BORN yer in the Stars 700K this week, I jus got a lil favor I need dun! Go to work, son!

Okay back to the Sharks offers TOP players thingy dealo. Today I notified 5 of our TOP Shark players (12,000 strong now) that they would be offered a special job on our new improved onlineshark site. This site is up but is getting a total face lift and database that will be the best Tourney portal online.

These players have not accepted my offer so the line-up could change but here they are:

Shark Legend gary812 (undisputed best Shark player ever! Including your hero)
nuf said

Tourney stud, Matt "bornsupreme" (Shark "enforcer, driver, special ops, Sharks personal grey goose pourer and strip club locator") Already a Shark backed player, BORN recently cashed in 4 out of 6 events that Shark staked him in. (nice neteller transfer, buddddee)

Only sleeps on Thursdays and likes to wake up yer hero at 4am "cutty shark, ya clown. wakeup! Bodoggie got a 3K overlay for the $11 rebuy, we can win this"

Rock Solid Matt "sweetness" unstoppable in early Shark days, busy family man w/limited time

Action Doug "connjure" Conn (semi famous magician and pro ring omaha/holdem player)

Hyper Aggressive Chip Slingin "TexasDan" (I'm pretty sure his name is Dan? Impressed Shark last week when he went toe to toe against da shark in my best game "heads up". He didn't leave unscathed but never backed down! I offered him a spot on this team later that day and he graciously accepted!

Congrats Players! If they accept their pics will be posted on our site and you will watch as they attempt to CRUSH the online Tourney NL Game.

Couple things to mention: They will not all succeed. They will all give 110% or they would not have been offered a slot. All have a ton of talent and have played hundreds (thousands gary?) of Tourneys. They may drop out of our staked players page or move on to greener pastures. I'll wish them luck and hope they always keep in touch (and wear a shark tee on the WPT). They are friends first and players second.

Now, we have 11,995 players that are disappointed. (Well 20 anyway). Heres the plan. Did I miss you killin Tourneys for the last year? Could be. I've been pretty busy. I rarely get to play with my team anymore (hate that). If you think you are better than these guys (and can prove it) send me your credentials (in word file) and I will decide if you will be on the short list of players that will replace these great players if they move on or are unsuccessful at higher stakes.

Do you know that you are not ready (yet), but want to persue Poker in a serious Professional manner soon? Save screenshots of your final tables or large cashes online, newspaper clippings (scanned) of live events or whatever. Put them in a file and send them to me. Show me you deserve my backing and a spot on our "Sharks Staked Players" page. Doug "connjure" sent me screenshots of 8 final tables in about 1 month and was my first staked player (real money events)! I don't put as much weight on Freeroll finishes as real money finishes, so keep that in mind.

These players will be our site Ambassadors and will help the newer players, answer questions and help our Army grow to be the best group of players online. People ask me what I do for a livin'? Shark: "I build Poker players" And really thats what i'm doing.

It's a good business. As my thousands of play chippers improve they get tired of "not real" poker and Freeroll "all-in fests" and 1800 player fields. They get good, deposit money and play as a Shark Network player at one of our 15 sites. As they realize that this is a pretty good side income (if they are good) and the online bonuses are huge they then move up the ranks. .50/1.00 then 1/2 then 2/4 etc. Just like I did 2 years ago. Raisinhavok' did the same and is tearin up Absolute 3/6, 6 max.

As you improve the sites pay me for all the hours I spent helping you improve and play FREE tourneys for cash money prizes. I get a commission, pennies (or maybe nickels) on each hand you play......chacha ching!. The bigger you play, the more I receive. I now kick some of that money back to strong players since i'm greedy but don't want to lose them to getnekkidandgetyerrakebacktoo.com or signupwithmeand you'llneverseemeagainorgetarealmoneytransferimincostarica.com

These are very reputable players in the rakeback biz but hey, THEY don't have FREE TOURNEYS or super cool bad a$$ Shark logo shirts , do they?

As my ole friend Doyle says (great booming voice) Howdy Players this is Doyle Brunson, Welcome to our Tourney, have a great time and lets shuffle up and deal!

Can't wait to meet him! Who will introduce me? Scott?