Poker Road Warrior: November 2005
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Tuesday, November 29, 2005

Password For Ladies Event

Ladies: Go to our sched of events page on the shark tour site. Look for the second Absolute registration area. It will say password. Clik and grab password

Sunday, November 27, 2005

2 Shark Champs, 1 Cage, 1 Deck....

Cards Randomly Generated courtesy of the Kahnawake Gaming Commission in Kahnawá:ke, located 10 kilometers south of Montreal, on the banks of the St. Lawrence River. The word “Kahnawá:ke” means “on the rapids,” which perfectly describes the Territory’s eastern reaches.

Tim "tgreer" vs. Matt "Sweetness" (shark staked player)

Tough call here. I'm not sure who I would pick. I like UB sit n gos better then any online. How does that sound fellers? Good structure, software. I think you can request a challenge here now and keep your table as long as you want.

$5 sits, 4 outa 7, NL-HU, non turbo. UB

Winner cashes another $200 and Shark Champ tag for a full year. 2nd place (no losers here) $100 and a deep man hug from the 1 toofed, poker savant and escaped felon Shark.

Winner Takes Shark on (exhibition only), for additional cashish (I don't know, let me see if I have any left ya loons)

2 Great Champions. Should be a fun heads up battle. I'll announce the time soon. Let me know if UB is okay guys. Maybe in about 10 days?

Lets get ready to Ruuuuuuuummmmmmble

Friday, November 25, 2005

Guest Post from Shark Staked player "connjure" World Class Sleight of Hand (check out his great videos!)

Hi Players,

I'm re-posting this fun post from my bud Doug. I have added a few of my own since this post. Anyone have a better variation? Post them in the "comments" area, please.

I like donkasaurus, donkland and donkabunga


My friend Doug "connjure" Conn is becoming a great Omaha player after tearing up holdem for the last year. He is playing Poker professionally now and will be answering questions on our new Poker Forum (new improved Online Shark Satellite Tour). He is our best Omaha player so get your questions ready!

Thanks for the great guest post Dougie! I know ya want another shirt.....

Dougs Post:

If you, like I, enjoy playing the (.50/1) micro limits (while making 5-10 bbs p/hr, per table ;)there's no doubt you've seen your monster hands go down to some serious trash...For such occasions, I've accumlated a few select donk-adjectives (adverbs?)

I offer my top 10 list for your consideration:

10: 'Donkmania is running wild!'

9: " I've been to your website:"

8: "D - - K head"

7: Donkefied & 7.5: the Matusow variant - "De-Donkify" (to undonk a donk)

6: "You f'n Mule, you're not even worthy of donkey status"

5: Donkerific

4: "you're the Biggest Donk that ever Donked a Donk"

3: Donkopolis (see: Carribean Sun)

2: "DonkeyMcDonkerson from Donksville"and last, but not least... my current favorite:

1: Donkelicious

Tuesday, November 22, 2005

Mine Field of Donks, Laggs and the Occasional Stone Cold Killer!

Our #1 Site Absolute Poker has stepped up for our members! $1000 added Global Event. Time and date is posted above in our calendar. Qualified players all read below for instructions.

$200 also added today for our HUGE, successful, and hyper aggressive Ladies only event, also! Me grrrs are good!

I have all players that qualified in an excel sheet. I will post them in the Global thread (Shark Forum) and here (below). I need all to email me since their screen names don't give me their emails. Then I compile a list to send out the password. Any players caught trying to sneak in receive Sharks complimentary lifetime ban. Not one player has ever been allowed back from this drop kick (okay, just one, I got soft).

Send your screen name you qualified with and your email now to:

If you have AOL (aol sucks) or an email system that likes to protect you from evil dangers put this email addie to "safe" as well as my bulk mailer careful out there, protect yer BR. Wear yer Shark swag for added protection.

Here are our best 190 players for the last 6 MONTHS! Congrats to all. You may notice many great players are not on this list. It's not easy fighting your way thru a mine field of donks, laggs and the occasional stone cold killer. If you missed this event heres a little hint.

Play in our $5 events. Yes, they feature some of our toughest players! But fighting yer way thru 30-60 is so much easier then 500. Plus they are short and sweet. Most that play enjoy these matches way more then the big events.

I improve when i'm at a table with Sovereign, Conn, Roughshod, Charterboss, and Cardluvr. Thats what I need to do everyday to reach my goals (improve, play in the WPT, Aruba, Paris). Many don't realize this but the table I just mentioned is way tougher then the $109 buyins I play at UB. Really. Many of our players have no idea how good they are. As they move up (buyins or limit) many will find out just how good they really are.

Top 3 finishers in every Shark event gets yer lagg ass into this event (next one in May). Support our Tour, play $5 buyins, it creates goodwill with our Poker sites and gets us more swag and bigger added cashish freerolls. Lazzyruuus yer in!

Current Invitees for Next Years Event here:

Thank you players!!

Sempai JoanneShark Legend, Gary812SHARKYShe/Rox

Time To SOOT UP! All Players will CASH! At least $1000 ADDED, Winner takes on Shark Tour animal tgreer (first half winner).


If you have not registered for Stack Poker beta testing do it NOW. Our first Freeroll there (1st Private "Roll" at Stacks) will be $1000 added. It may fill early as we are the #1 affiliate in the World there. Register now, our downloads and beta testing freerolls will be available soon. Click here to register, no download required at this time.


The Shark Champion will then take on Shark in the STEEL Cage for additional cashish (if he/she drops Shark 4 outa 7). This is an exhibition match only.

2005 First half Tourney animal, Champion, “tgreer61” awaits his opponent for the title!

Friday, November 18, 2005

Shark Tees Arrive! Plus Weekend Schedule

After our back ordered Shark Tees arrived (Costco) they found a word misspelled (last week) and today the new ones showed up. I'm swinging by there now to grab them and my whole crew will help mailout this weekend. Thx for your patience.

I actually had time to play a lil Pokah yesterday and will crank it up again tonight. My honeybunny (Raisin) has been working on a 2000 hand bonus from Eurobet and we have till tonight to finish off 400 more raked hands (about 2 hrs, 4 tablin short handed). I'm rusty from all the site, shark shyt so may only play 3 tables of 3/6 short. Last night I was on and showed very little rust.

Sometimes my old game will creep back if I have not played so I have to fight hard to be more aggressive and raise even when it feels a lil uncomfy. Being a tight player (table image) means my raises send out a strong signal. I owned my 3 tables last night and my pre raises (15%) earned many blind steals, pots won just by bettin a flop I missed, or a HU pot folded on the turn as I turned the heat up. Often without a pair or even a good draw. Blind stealing is not a huge deal at lower limits but is very important as you move up. You must attack them and play back at stealers to maintain a good profit at 3/6, 5/10 and higher. Deciding when to "push back" at blind stealers is a very difficult part of the game. Practice this even at micro limits. It will be time well spent when you move up. What is your blind steal %? It's important.

Guys get timid when they lose (often) to my big pair poket or top pair, great kicker showed down on the river. This night was a rare one for me. I made lots of flushes. For almost 2 months I couldn't convert a flush draw. Last nite my 36% to hit (2 cards left, 4 to a flush) was probably 55% and for the bad 2 months a good guess was 20%. It's fun when the % turns to your favor.

No big hands to report. I paid close attention realizing that I was rusty and even had a little trouble playing only 3 tables short. Total take for the night +410 on 3/6 6 max. 600 hands played. A great night and knocked off much rust. I should be dangerous tonight! Make $400 tonight (hopefully) add the $200 bonus and about $100 in rake back and thats a nice lil $1100, 2 day foray into donkland.

Eurobet is becoming part of the Pokeroom Network in a few days so we will see how that works out. It was strange not having all the hundreds of Party tables last night (They have broke off from Euro already). Big bonuses will probably be offered next week. I'll post if anything looks real sweet.

Hope to play more Poker this weekend (and next week) so more Poker stories soon.

Big Weekend of Tourneys:

Deposit now and play a small field low buyin or see you at BODOG Sunday!

Royal Vegas Poker 11.18 9PM EST, $100 added, $5+.50 buyin.

Poker Time 11.19 1PM EST, $200 added! $5+.50 buyin. REBUY! New Shark deposits and 300 raked hands earns a Shark tee or hat. Cool raked hands meter tracks your hands for you! Launch Shark for a fiddy. $50.

Titan Poker 11.19 6PM EST, $100 added, $5 buyin. $25 boner to punk Shark.

Newest Premier site for the Sharkees! BODOG 6:05 PM EST 11.20 Freeroll, $200 added plus TOP 3 score seats in the 100K guarantee! These are 109. seats each. Register at Bodog now. Enter your email on the Tour site. We may have to limit entries at this huge event, please register now. No emails to me if you don't get in!

Just Announced, $1000 added: We are now the TOP Affiliate in the World for Stacks Poker.

That means our members get HUGE Events there. Stacks management just kicked our 1st Freeroll (First Private Event at Stacks) up to $1000, (from $300) to honor our great membership. They also will have several Freerolls while in beta testing for our players. Register now, we will receive our downloads in December!

Play aggressive! Shark (12-16% pre raise, 25-35% blind steal)

Monday, November 14, 2005

Shark Scores Great Hat for our Tour!

SPECIAL: Sharkfest will continue next month. Thank you for the great turnout! I had a great day Sunday, I have been looking for a special Shark Baseball Hat and finally found it.

The first 100 are ordered and man they are so sweet. Black, with embroidered Shark logo. This will be the nicest (and most expensive) hat I have owned. You to, I hope.

We need deposits! Our sponsors Sunday have supported us (big time). Play 300 raked hands (.25/.50 or higher limit) and you will pick up our NEW Shark Poker Tour Hat. These are very high quality, so if you prefer we will transfer you $20 instead of a hat if you like cash. Shark always pays the shipping. Complete your hands by month end so we can do the required bookkeeping. Notify me by email when you complete hands (or think you have).

This offer is for Caribbean Sun, Titan Poker, Royal Vegas and Poker Time. First time depositors only (this months deposits count) and you had to first enter these sites by clicking our link or banner. If you don't qualify at these sites, email me. I'll work something out elsewhere.

I want all to be wearing this hat. Ladies will love it also! If you are like some players and play 1000 hands a week (or a day, lol) I'll add a t-shirt if you want to qualify at a second site. Get to 2000 raked hands at Poker Time or Royal (or both) and you pick up a nice chip set (or 2) as well. Details on the chips soon (I only will purchase excellent quality swag). Remember this is in addition to bonus money you will also receive from the sites.

Your deposits at these sites will allow you to play our low-buyins this week,

Support your Tour!

There it is. I support you, you support me. Deposits keep us rolling and will mean more added money and better swag (gifts). Check out the calendar for this week! Huge Royal Satellite Event Wednesday! Newest sponsor BODOG stepped up and offered us a HUGE purse for our first event there (next Sunday). It took me 3 months to get a Tourney there. They don't usually allow private Tourneys. We will keep that site by (you guessed it) depositing.

If you are not ready to deposit. I UNDERSTAND. You are still a valuable member of our TEAM! We all become ready at different times. If you have fears, post those fears in our forum. Thats why all my Veterans are there (to help you ya newb, lol). New players can help us by posting in our new forum. That is really appreciated. Ask questions. Learn. Grow as a player. Many players find that the real money games are incredibly easy (especially after playing my Army) to beat and the huge bonuses, swag and rakeback make it very profitable. You can be a break even player and do very well. Improve and start 3 tabling and the money will pay for extras you have always wanted. We like Maui.

Thanks to all!

New Forum email:

Sunday, November 13, 2005

Time To Throw Down! Sharkfest!

UB hat (backwards), Starbucks (baileys), twin towers on, all forum questions answered, no pants, depends (breaks, I don't need no stinkin breaks)...check...check...check...check...check...check

Lets dance donkeys!

Note: Fish Tank hats are being mailed out Monday. Huge new order of Shark tees arrive Tuesday (S to XXXXL). 60 scheduled to go out this week!

Now, a message from your sponsor: Everyone have a great time today! I'm jacked cause I have worked hard all week and now I get to play too! All 3 events, a couple heads up matches (Main Man Matt, i'm gonna make you run fer yer momma).

If you score a knockout today (Shark, Sweetness, Connjure, TexasDan or Shark Legend Gary812) the software probably won't pay you automatically. Email Shark and write which tourney and player you sent to the rail. I will then have money transferred. Be patient, all sites are busy on Sundays. If Shark offers you a free t-shirt today, email (email above) with your size and home address. I always pay postage also.

SPECIAL OFFERS TODAY! Sharkfest will continue next month. The offers (added money) we receive will depend on the deposits we get this week. More deposisits and support for our buyin events this week means more cash added! Many of you know this, but we have many new players each month so if you are a veteran, sorry for the repetition.

I had a great day yesterday! I have been looking for a special Shark Baseball Hat and finally found it. The first 100 are ordered and man they are so sweet. Black, with embroidered Shark logo. This will be the nicest (and most expensive) hat I have owned. You to, I hope.

We need deposits! Our sponsors today have supported us (big time). Play 300 raked hands (.25/.50 or higher limit) and you will pick up our NEW Shark Poker Tour Hat. These are very high quality, so if you prefer we will transfer you $20 instead of a hat if you like cash. Shark always pays the shipping.

Complete your hands by month end so we can do the required bookeeping. This offer is for Caribbean Sun, Titan Poker, and Poker Time. First time depositors only (this months deposits) and you had to first enter these sites by clicking our link or banner. If you don't qualify at these sites, email me. I'll work something out elsewhere. I want all to be wearing this hat. Ladies will love it also!

Your deposits at these sites will allow you to play our low-buyins there this week!

There it is. I support you, you support me. Deposits keep us rolling and will mean more added money and better swag (gifts). Check out the calendar for this week! Huge Royal Satellite Event Wednesday! Newest sponsor BODOG stepped up and offered us a HUGE purse for our first event there (next Sunday). It took me 3 months to get a Tourney there. They don't usually allow private Tourneys. Our success at Pokershare (70 deposits) secured that site. We will keep that site by (you guessed it) depositing.

If you are not ready to deposit. I UNDERSTAND. You are still a valuable member of our TEAM! We all become ready at different times. If you have fears, post those fears in our forum. Thats why all my Veterans are there (to help you ya newb, lol). New players can help us by posting in our new forum. That is really appreciated. Ask questions. Learn. Grow as a player.

Many players find that the real money games are incredibly easy (especially after playing my Army) to beat and the huge bonuses, swag and rakeback make it very profitable. You can be a break even player and do very well. Improve and start 3 tabling and the money will pay for extras you have always wanted.

Don't tell bad beat stories! Decide what you did wrong and go to the next tourney. Ever hear that guy that always says "Well, I went in with the best hand?". Don't say that. Say, "I failed to get a big stack early, so I was forced to win some "flips" as a slight favorite". Thats what really happened (usually). Nothing wrong with that (it happens to us all). But instead of whinin or telling people why you lost do this. Make some notes. How can I play better next time? Why didn't I build a stack early? You may need to loosin up early. Or run some bluffs. Great article about building a stack here. If you have read it, read it again today. I have read it 6 times. Advanced Tourney Play!

While you are waiting for the next Tourney to start today line up your week. Print out our calendar above and register at these great sites for upcoming action. The UB event is up now at our site. Royal and Bodog will be up soon. Register your info below now!

Ultimate Bet 11.15 TEC for the WINNER!

Royal Vegas Poker 11.16 Top 6 Win $55 Satellite Seats!

Red Hot! Bodog Poker 11.20 $200 added + Top 3 WIN $109 Satellite Seats!

Have fun! Be kind to fellow Shark soldiers! Make plans to earn a Shark Hat this week! Lets shuffle up and steal!!


Saturday, November 12, 2005

Shark Mailbag!

Hi Kids

Lots of mail today so I thought i'd open a few. Okay....this one is from Rick in Oregon. Rick wrote: Hey Shark, you sure drink alotta grey goose. I was wondering what all you married guys say to your wives so you can play 3 Tourneys all day, not mow the lawn or help with the kids? Do you have any tips? Love your sites and the big added money. You spell funny but it's weird, I kinda like it.

I'd love to play 2 tommorrow, hope to see ya there! Thanks, Rick.

Thanks for the mail, Rick. First of all, get sum stones, man. Heres what I would do. First try to get her hooked. You may have noticed it's addictive as hell, especially when you are rollin'. I got my lil honeybunny hooked bad, now she claims to be going to costco and comes home 14 hrs. later stinkin a smokes and her purse is fulla hundies. I like man time and she hates loud stereos so 14 hrs is about right. Plus I like hundies.

If that doesn't work try a more subtle approach. Sit your whole family down and say "sorry, I don't have time for you today (or tonight) i'm playin Poker with escaped felon, poker savant Sharkmasta and Shark Legend Gary812!"

Get sooted up early tommorrow. Caribe Sun at noon EST, PokerTime 5PM EST (1250. add, 250 for the win) and Titan Poker, $5 +.50 buyin $500 added!! Best Value of the day.

Friday, November 11, 2005

SharkFest Sunday! 3 Events, $2300 added Cash!

Aggressive Tourney animal "TexasDan" will have $70 in launch bonuses on his head this weekend. Shark, GAR, Connjure and Sweetness will all be available for launch. Huge $50 on each at Poker Time, $10 each at Caribbean Sun and $10 each at Titan Poker. Three events, one day, lets dance donkeys............

Our Press Release made Google, Yahoo and Alta Vista this week. Check it out. Times and Money added is all listed for our 11/13, Huge 3 Tourney day. Go to our Shark Tour site to play!

Big Changes for the Party Network and "skins", check this release out:

Wednesday, November 09, 2005

Man Shark vs. Giant Fish in the Aquarium of Death Match

Your hero (me) woke up a lil frisky today. I challenged feared Pro and noted heads up playa Scott Fischman to one of my now famous "Steel Cage Death Matches". 4 outa 7, no limit sit n go. I offered to drop down a few limits for him ($50 sits) to make sure he accepted. After some initial reluctance (about as fast as you can humanly hit reply/send) he accepted said challenge and my manager (me) contacted his manager (a real one) to work out details.

Our Armys favorite pro is heading to a few Tourneys in Europe so we will set it up when he returns. Scotts great site "Tank" will be the site of this epic battle.

You can stop in and sweat us if you promise to make a deposit. This month i'm giving away free stuff if you are a new depositor to the Tank. Email me and i'll tell you how to qualify. Tank bad ass black hats, shark tees, jump drives! You pick.

When Scott returns from Paris and Monte Carlo, i'll be anxiously awaiting at Shark Corporate Headquarters (my rat infested, damp basement). I already have plans to take the warden to Skippers after my huge win.

I'm still lookin for "thunder". He's duckin me.

Tuesday, November 08, 2005

Poker Time STEPS up! $1250 added FreeRoll!

Poker Time likes my Army! Our newest Premier Tour stop just added another $250 to our prize pool. $1000 added and $50 if you punk Shark, TexasDan, Capt. GAR, Sweetness, or current team money leader Conn-Air "connjure". Press Release goes out 11.10 so get in early.

Thats right kids, launch any of our site Ambassadors and we install $50 into your real money account. cha ching, oh boy! Lets dance, donkeys...... Click here to register:
When registering just leave "referred by" area blank, you are already tracked as our member thru this link. Previous Prima players will use their same screen name at Poker Time (very nice!).

All Prima partners are now password entry! This is huge to our members.

Then go here and enter just your email address (from sched of events page) for password notification (right before we shuffle/deal)

Do it now, filling up fast! We added 3 more Tourneys to our schedule yesterday and now we are up to 27 Events, I believe. Check them out, mo big money!

One of my goals for our Tourney sites is to keep the events small. Everyone is tired of 1500 man "rolls" with $50 adds. As we grow, I will continue to add more Events and my new partners will help with the "heavy lifting" as well. It is our hope that with more money added (over 2 million this month, lol) and smaller events our members will no longer need to "freeroll hop" to 3 or 4 freeroll sites. Print out our calendar. Enter events as they are posted on our Tour site. Mark your calendar. If you register for an Event and something comes up, not a problem. Go to the Poker site and hit "unregister" or "unjoin". This will prevent all sitting players to sit with a bunch of non sitting players. Be a good team member. Unjoin if not playing.

Mike "imdrinkintomuchbeerandonlythinkaboutbeer&playsoccerdrunk" at our sister site will have a leaderboard if you crave a points system. Yes, thats a long screen name, but who cares, hes havin' killer "rolls" and will have a great data base and all Shark players are gonna tear it up there. Support his drunk ass and Shark will give you a big man hug next time we meet. perdy grrrs to. As always send all your nice feedback, suggestions and complaints to Mike. He's way more patient and giving than da Sharkmasta.

Monday, November 07, 2005

Shark adds more CASHISH! New Events just Announced!

First this: I'm rockin' out to this REM DVD right now. The police will be here soon (neighbors don't like 1 toofed Shark who appears to have no job and gets paper in speedos (or nuttin') each mornin at odd hours. One time when I was mowing the neighbor asked.....What do you do?

I say, well lets see. I multi-table the most donkelicious Poker sites on the net, usually at odd hours cause thats when the drunk east coasters come home and also when my UK friends decide to invest in a lil pokah! I don't think it's a good investment, but they do, and thats okay with me. I know you have seen our property taxes, right? right? what was yer name again? Oh ya, sorry Rick. After my mouse finger gets tired (about 1500 hands) I then start runnin herd ona buncha over agg chip tossin' loonies. Theres 12,000 of em, John. I collect a penny or 3 off every hand they play. And man, Dick, sum a dem loonies play alot, ha! They like to find me when i'm playing and call me names and they laugh when I get HU in a sit n go and they know its over for the leak, really before it ever got started. (Paul Newman, Color of Money).

I don't like neighbors. I don't wanna know you and you don't wanna know me. I have my own friends and not enough time to see them. Keep yer yard nice and don't ask me what donkelicious means. ha!

Hot tip get REM "perfect square" dvd best concert....dvd... ever....its not close. Crank it up to about 3PM (volume) and wait about 20 min. Then turn it down to normal. The cops arrive and I say " hey guys, ya want a soda?" They leave and I crank it for about ten more minutes to punish the neighbor that is home and calling the coppers. Hey, what are they doin home? Don't you people have jobs? Get to work. I love to play Pokah (rubs nipples furiously).

Best tracks are 16) she just wants to be 20) so fast, so numb 3) great old tune, whats the frequency kenny. Check out track 10, the camera work when front man Stipe goes into the audience, its unreal. He has all 20,000 reaching into the sky as he belts out "the one I love". Serious hot babes in crowd (honey can we go to Germany?). Watch the crowds faces. They all know they are watchin sumthin special. The added bonus concert "stirling" from Scotland is really well done also.

I remember a crowd like that when I saw my then favorite rockers, "Counting Crows" at the Gorge at George, WA. Voted best concert venue in America (several times) its hard to beat on a summer night as the sun sets behind the stage. They were red hot and knew it.

"Satellites" had just came out and they were on fire. Adam put on a show, piano, playin the crowd, what a night. It got a lil crazy at one point and he stopped the whole band mid song (instantly, they must have had a signal) and Adam says "ok thats it! There are people getting trampled in front! I will not play one more note till everybody relaxes and takes 3 steps backwards. I mean it, we will leave right now" You have never seen a crowd back up so fast. Bouncers pulled the trampled over the barricade and they started back up instantly. The precision crowd control was almost as good as the perfect rendition of my fav Crow song "anna begins" I never get tired of it.

Their disappointing 2 follow up albums really surprised me. Get it back Adam, i'm pullin' for ya! "August" remains best rock album of all time IMO.

Okay you freeloaders..uh...ahh...I mean freerollers. Check out the big calendar above. I added 3 or 4 tourneys today. More cash, more swag, yada yada. We are rollin kids.

I need deposits to continue the roll. Dump those play chips and make a small deposit, please. (hey shark said please!). Just play .01/.02 limit I don't care. I'm concerned that play chips will ruin whatever hopes I have of turnin you into a playa. Email me before you deposit and i'll set ya up with free swag. You have a choice of several items this month. Must be a new site you have not registered at. You must click a Shark link or banner to qualify. Clear yer "cookies" if you click lots of banners. Those banners have pokersharks, or code in them. Those are "bad" sharks that failed to grab an original moniker and they won't give you squat and neither will I if you don't click my banner first. nuff said.

IMO, the most important part of being a good (or great) Poker player is building good habits. Play chips has never built anything. Every student I have taught has to be deprogrammed if they were a serious play chippie. It's NOT real poker. You might enjoy it but don't you wanna get good? Even micro limits is a good training ground. At least those guys are playin with sumthin of value, even if its just pennies.

Pokertracker taught me good habits. I don't chase or cold call raises. I will lay down hands when I know i'm beat, and I watch my stats like a hawk. I know they can get better. My blind stealing % is a lil weak. That bugs me. I'm gonna improve. Most players don't know what their "see flop % is" That blows me away. How can you improve? How will you know when you are at a table with 3 sharks? You won't till its to late. Pokertracker will tell you before you sit down.

Standard Shark offer. Buy PT (Pokertracker) here from this link.

You can take the 1000 free hands like 99% of you do. But why not be different? Buy the whole version now. It's cheap, for what you get. You will then receive 2 free PT critiques from yer hero (me). I can tear apart your game from these stats and put you on track to be a Poker animal like my staked players. DO NOT email me till you have loaded at least 5000 hands. I need to see how bad/good you are. 10,000 hands loaded will earn you a shark tee (free postage too) if you have them loaded and do not email me before you have 10,000. Deal?

When I had time to teach I charged $80 for what i'm offering above. Its FREE if you commit.

Then I will email you back with required FAXed stats I want sent to me. Then I will mark them up and send them back. Play your game, I will try to help guide you to play your own style.

Invest in your game. Most players lose. It's a fact. PT tells me that every month. I guarantee you most of the PT owners are not losers. They committed to being great. Its not fun to set up (I won't help). PT support and forums will help though. Pokertracker Pat is a legendary cust. service person and designed the software. If you can't read instructs don't buy it. You need to read a lil to set it up.

I don't care about the small commission I get on this. When my friends ask "Steve, what are you doing?" I say, i'm building Poker players (and pissin off neighbors). PT, and online tourney animal nsxts are my guides to make you great. All ya have to do is put down the mouse and stop playing so much.

Invest, learn, build good habits and as Todd "nsxts" Arnold says "PAY ATTENTION"! Don't watch TV or surf the net or look at porn. Okay, i'm allright with the porn but you get my drift, right?

Great Tourney action upcoming!

Saturday, November 05, 2005

Shark Member Tim Williams throws down in his Shark tee!

Hey Tim! Nice shirt. I need to get you a Tank hat also. The colors (black) make a nice ensemble with the black spade.

The new upgraded shirts have cool Shark speak on the back also. Thanks for the pic, sir!

For making the blog Tim receives a fabulous prize package (Caribe Sun Tee and Fish Tank playing cards) valued at $9300....... gg, nh, ty, yw.........


Sign up now! Great, inexpensive pro video training by Ultimate Bet "name" pros including UB "big game playa" Green Plastic (not his real name). Mr Plastic and friends play a range of games and you follow along (table is on taped video) as they torture the unsuspecting laggs and give you tips.

This is fun stuff, improve your game today! At sign up enter roadwarrior as your referral please. No spaces, exact spelling.

Absolute today is 9PM EST not 2PM!!

Note to self: Never, ever post times when 3 deep into Margaritaville (gold,rocks,no salt,big lime) Absolute is 9PM tonight EST. Sorry for my drinkin problem.

Have fun kids! We need to fill up Fish Tank and Royal this week! See schedule above. Lots of requests from my foreign friends for early times. I'm doing 5 early events this month so I can cut down on all the emails Marty in Australia sends me (jokin Martyn). If turnout is low I have to go back to 1 or 2 early ones. Lets fill em up!

If you would like sum FREE swag (shark gifts), let me know if you would make a new deposit at a Poker site you have never visited. Min. hand requirements apply. Flash or "jump" drives with my logo, Tank hats, or Shark tees this month. Email me with 2 sites you would like to try, Ask any questions you have. I'll try to guide you to the best site for your game. At the end of the month you get a sweet $$ transfer. Click here for more info about rake back.

Friday, November 04, 2005

New Shark Network Partners Announced!

More Freerolls, Blackjack Tourneys, Heads up events and chip slingin', check rayzn, Shark action! Please Welcome our 2 NEW partners, joining our Shark Powered Network this month!

Brennan Tuttle, Fortune River Casino, Partner, Pres. "screen name "straitnewb"

Brennan has been my friend for 5 years. We sold cars together for a while before I found out he was a very talented designer, graphics, web guy. Now he does almost everything for the network. Logos, web sites, and the now famous, bad ass Shark logo tees. His help has been amazing. Call him for your design needs and play in his blackjack tourneys, cause when you support him you are supporting me. We are a team.

Mike Pfister, Poker, partner, Tourney site, Pres.

Well known and respected Shark vet Mike also known as "imjusthereforthebeer" Mike likes beer. We have alot in common. Mike will be crankin up some fun tourney action and has plans to build a much requested Shark Leaderboard (with point system)!!

Play Mikes site later this month.

I throw down this HU challenge to Mike. I am a former World Class (really) beer guzzler. I was the undefeated champion of my high school and it was full of serious drunks. At the 1st annual Shark Convention Mike and I will throw down. Mike, if you gulp once you will not win. I just drop it str8 down baybeee. 16oz or 20 oz you pick ground rules. Lets dance, donkey!

Support these Shark Partners below!

Current Shark Powered Network Roster BLOG FORUM TOUR SITE Satellite Site Poker site, partner/Mike Pfister, Pres. Under Const. Casino/Blackjack Tourneys/Partner site/Brennan Tuttle, Pres. Under Const (Sharks Casino Site)

Thursday, November 03, 2005

More fun tidbits about Maxy and Pokershare fiasco!


Quote from Max Wright, Pokershare Mgr. and lame spokesman:

I would like to stress that it was beyond our control. We consider our players and affiliates our number one priority and we would like to assure you that we are doing everything in our power to remedy this action.

Shark retorts:

Total crap, there MaxyPaxy. You stole players, with no worries of UB stompin yer lil azz into the ground. Uh....yesterday they stomped yer lil azz into said ground...ha!

Pokernow was a recent example of what happens if you wanna try to steal players from sites that have big money and clout. Didn't you learn anything form PokerNow, Maxy? It was just a few months ago.

Now, you are in the same broken down pile as them and the entire internet poker player community hates you...........girlfriend.

Pokershare took a chance that they would get away with it. It didnt take long for them to get kicked to the curb. I was excited about finally having rakeback at my fav software and tourney site (UB). When I saw tool boy stealing thousands of players I knew it wouldnt last. It couldn't. Preschoolers don't win fights with High School Linebackers. UB has alotta flaws but Pokershares justa wannabe now.

I'm going to negotiate with UB (tommorrow) for rake back for me and my players (800). If they say no, we just play elsewhere. Not a problem.

I just posted this (above) at the site where I first started realizing that this wasn't a game played by old guys in smokey dark rooms (only 3 years ago) , it was an aggression laced competition where you needed skill, mental toughness and killer instinct (especially at a final table). Man I wish I had found this game 20 years ago. I can't hit a 90 MPH fastball into the gap anymore but I can still take on Chip Jett in the Stars 700k. And thats kinda cool. I love this game! Check out 2+2

I had a few 10/20 players that answered my newb questions (man I was scared to make that leap to 1/2 and 2 tables? Are you kidding me, 1/2?). They were very nice and I have tried to help many newbs since. I do remember that scary first deposit. I re-read Sklansky 2 times before my first deposit (had to be prepared to play .25/.50). You read that dry shit twice and tell me, you wanna play Poker or take a nap. After my nap, I soooted up and startin buildin a roll.

I have always been good at BR management. Maybe thats just because i'm 45, or maybe because my huge mortgage makes me nervous. Who knows. I never took shots at limits that I wasn't BR'ed for. Learned that on 2+2. Greg Raymer got much of his early game from 2+2. He still posts if ya wanna ask him sumthin. Barry Greenstein also.

My players have been very supportive these last 2 days! I really appreciate it. Many had never had rake back and were excited to have added income. I will work out a deal with each and everyone of you. Just email me and tell me your favorite place you would like to play (that you do not have an account at) or ask my opinion on the best site.

This month I am giving out more shirts and usb "flash" drives also. Email for details. If you already recieved a shirt how bout another? Can you really have to many cool tees? This month I have 3 sites sponsoring tee Shirts & flash drives.

Our backorder shirts are due in about a week from costco. We ran out of several sizes so I placed a monster order this time, S to XXXXL. The new ones have more nice shark speak on the back also.

Wednesday, November 02, 2005

Pokershare takes another casualty!

MagikSarah wrote:
hi, this is MagikSarah and im sorry to complain in my first post but I have no where else to vent my anger so here goes.. I am disabled and online poker is my only form of entertainment.

Thanks to the pokershare fiasco my whole monthly allowance for november has been stolen from me. the email i received stated that a checked would be mailed to the address stated in my profile. Well thats just great since I moved. I sent the people an email asking them if they could neteller it to me or send it to a different address of course I have gotten no reply. So I say to them thanks for nothing you rotten theives. THanks again for letting me vent. MS P.S.

If anyone has any thoughts please reply and let me know what I should do. I wonder how many other people won't get their money because without warning they just decided to send checks instead giving people options.


Shark wrote back to Sarah:

They are horrible. ignorant people. They have no idea what this internet backlash will do to them. This is exactly what I knew would happen to my players.

You are use to nice easy, in/out transfers from neteller. They take the hard route, even though they have our neteller emails and account #'s to transfer. Print, cut, sign checks? Why?

Money. They kicked us to curb (just like UB did to them, IMO) and at that point decided to make interest on the "float". Thats a common practice in biz. They will make 50K maybe on all our money that will not be cashed for a week or more. I'm pretty sure they pay neteller a fee when the money goes back to you also (for doing the transaction). Shouldnt that be their responsibilty since they screwed up and had to dump thousands of players?

They didnt even have the coutesy to say what happened, leaving us to speculate. "Policy changes" ha! give me a fxxkin break. I'd like to show these putzes my new "policy change" when I meet their punk azzes in Vegas at the next convention. I'll have a big badge on that says SHARK if they wanna meet me up close and personal.

I'm really sorry Sarah. I had no idea that anyone would do this their first month in business. What a fine start they have made. I wish UB got in bed with better people. Seems like all of Doyles 30 Poker sites in his network are fine and treat people good. Deposit at Fish Tank. They will treat all good.

BORN! GAR! We got sum light haulin to do....Kind Regards, Shark

Pokershare Fiasco! Bump in road for my great membership....


I am very sorry I introduced you to Pokershare. Here is my "take" below. If you want to discuss further please go to our forum. I may post there a little later but I really feel like just posting here and moving on. Our membership is on a serious roll, lets just forget about losers and have a great November! Check out our schedule above. Its jam packed with killer freerolls. Bodog and our new site (secret) are going to set us up! Check out 11/13. 3 Tourneys in one day. Put on yer depends (soot up), you will not be able to leave your PC. A ton of swag too.

MY take on Pokershare/UB fiasco (this is my opinion only):

I will always try to protect my players from idiots but sometimes I can't sniff them out quick enough. The smell at first was like I stepped in poo poo but then as the arrogance and horrible customer service got worse, Pokershare smelled like an old diaper in a hot car. My guess is UB banished them from North America as punishment for stealing UB players. UB wasnt smart enough to make their players unable to register with Pokershare? ha! Easiest software fix ever. PartyPoker did it for years. You just put a code in that does not allow "skin" players to sign up at the "main site". Remember, Pokershare may be receiving a death sentence by being booted out of the N. American Market. A guy can only HOPE!

The arrogance to send everyone checks instead of Neteller transfers (how we all deposited) is just the final slap in the face. A goodbye kiss kinda. This allows them to "float" our money and pick up a ton of interest while we wait for our checks. Who wants to depend on the US Postal service for hard earned money? I wire money or do EFT's (electronic fund transfers).Thats what a professional business person would do. Shit, they already had our Neteller info!! I would never mail you a check, shark member! They have cool online banks that do a great job. We know what you are doing Pokershare!

Pokershare is just a bunch a rich newbies (to Poker business) that are aggressive salesman. They bought a "skin" of the best software online (smart, wish I could afford) and then went crazy stealing all their new partners/big brothers customers.

I can't really blame them (of course now they can't play ball in N America (so horrible biz move,
haha) since big brother (UB) wasnt smart enough to install software or make good guidelines so they couldn't let their customers jump ship (gold in this biz). Why wouldn't they jump ship??

Most players were playing UB with no rakeback! New site comes along and says "hey, ya want 20% or yer rake back, play yer fav software, and be a shareholder, and new sign up bonus, sign up here!!" You offer anyone this and they gone, bye bye. I had 300 sign up in 72 hrs.

UB coulda spent $1000, hired me (or any other sharp poker affiliate) as a consultant and I could have told them what would happen if they set this up the way they did. What kind of a fool is running your store, UB?

PokerNow had the exact same thing happen to them when they signed up under PartyPoker and started stealing customers with offers of huge rake back. It lasted a few months until Party bitch slapped them and they dropped off the Poker map. Maybe someday the Shark Poker Network will have our own software and not have to deal with tool boxes! (big money investor subtle HINT). Maybe UB didnt hear about this. Everyone I know in the Poker biz heard about it.


Is it Pokershares fault or Ultimate Bets? UB I say. They are supposed to be pros in this business. Pokershare is a buncha rich aggressive used car salesman that only want to get rich. I think they both will get what they deserve. Horrible word of mouth (this is all over internet and will be for a long time), a bad apple "skin" that no one in N. America can play and no new players that Pokershare was supposed to recruit in the N. America area for struggling weak marketer UB. IMO, UB was struggling and hired/let buy in, Pokershare to aggressively go after new business. I mean who hired this guy as a spokesman: Antonio Esfandiari, check out this tool here

How do you hire this guy and still have a JOPKE? His site is the biggest joke on the internet. His "rocks and rings" lil club reminds me of when I was 12 and we had a secret club in the baseball stadium scoreboard (Everett, WA) and drank boones farm and talked about touchin grrs in their private areas.

An excerpt from this UB Spokesmans club bylaws:

In the finest restaurants, bars, clubs and after-hours hidden hot spots. The more exclusive it is -- the harder you have to work to perpetrate past the velvet ropes and bouncers' glares -- the more likely you are to find R&R there. Once inside, don't expect to see members of Rocks and Rings "running laps to the bar like the proletariat." No, they'll be set up at their own private table, anchored by bottles of top-shelf booze, drawing pluckworthy honeys like moths to the proverbial flame. They travel by limo. They jet off to Vegas. Or Costa Rica. Paris. In a sense it doesn't matter where they shoot to or how they arrive because they place they are will instantly become the place to be. To paraphrase Crowded House, "Everywhere you go, you always take the party with you."

I drink good booze and use to pluck noteworthy honeys like moths to a proverbial flame also (shark, the early years) but I didn't brag about it on the internet (okay there was no internet then but you get my drift, ya lagg). God, I hope this guy never cashes again. Hey UB, is this the best you could find? Pokerstars has great guy and killer player Greg Raymer and strong agg beautiful Isabelle got Antonio? Hmmm.

Read that line again. Its worth it...plucked noteworthy hahahahhahamuhaha


Lets re-sign you rakeback players at a new site. I have t-shirts ordered (2 weeks out) for the few that didnt get their shirts (ran out of a few sizes) from your PokerShare fiasco. All will be paid for October also.

I will have new swag for you if you forgive me for your intro to Pokershare. If you sign up this month at a new site (deposit and raked hands required)

64k FLASH DRIVES w/ Sharks logo on them (also called jump drives, usb memory sticks) or;

Shark Tees (now 3 color logo and printed on back also) or both!

All sites are easier then PokerShare (quality of play), that is the good news (especially as you move up), My top 4 rakebackers are below (I trust these unlike those PS guys that smelled funny from the start)

I will give you the same deal at the sites. Remember it has to be a new account and you must click my link to first arrive there (this is how they link you to me, so I receive your action/play)

These are my direct links. If you already belong to these send me a few sites you don't belong to. Keep in mind Pokerstars, Bodog, Paradise and Stacks do not allow rakeback.
Some will allow your wife or hubby to sign up their own account, try this if its okay with the sites.

1) Absolute Poker,

Huge reloads that don't affect your rakeback. Rakeback+Bonus (you will always have 1 to work) + Profits = sweet deal. Most other sites deduct rakeback as you work off bonus. AP realizes that good players will always pick up frequent reloads so don't penalize you or me!

Decent support, good sit n gos

Lotsa games and donkalicious. My wife kills 2/4 and 3/6 (2 tables) while playin spider solitaire and watching Dr Phil and Oprah (is she fat again?)

2) Caribbean Sun
(biggest donk congregation on planet, and its not close) This is where I play most of my ring games. 5/10 is similar to 2/4 at most sites (players so bad I chuckle to self as I lead them to promised land, ha!)

frequent tourney promos (WPT, etc,)

3) Fish Tank

(led by great young feller (IMO), pro Scott Fischman, excellent pro. manager sis Beth Fischman and network supported by the Babe Ruth of Poker ( my ole pal,Doyle Brunson). Good live support

I like the "big" cards they deal and being involved with people I like and trust. Scott is not a card carrying member of "rocks n rings". They give our members cool hats and sweet playing cards with the knarly Tank logo on them. booooohah.

4) Titan Poker

Up and comer. Not a ton of tables but man are they bad players. Good bonuses and good support.

Same software as Noble (previous owners of Noble).

I prefer that you pick 1 site and play it hard. Its difficult for me and bookkeep. to track 3-4 sites for each month for each player. If you try one, then hate it, just let me know and i'll start tracking a new one for you.

Any questions fire away. Or just start playing and let me know where you land!

This is a small bump in the road for all of us. Bad business people get in the way of good people all the time....The good people are around a long time and make many friends along the way. The bad ones end up banished to Europe or out of business or both.

700 Poker sites! They need us more than we need them! We are growing in spite of bad business people. Hope you will continue be a part of my Army!

I am now preparing an email to all Shark rakeback players. Pick a site now and start playing or send questions you have. I will answer all. If you did not get into our "rakeback, free shirt deal, fiasco, pokershare kissoff promotion" hit a LINK above and email me your request for free gifts and rake back. I will email each player individually to set you up. Tell me if you want a flash drive, shirt or both and I will tell you how many hands required (each site has different rules).

If you want to post a link to this blog feel free. Two Plus Two Forums, RGP whatever. Many players got screwed here. Spread the word. Its really the best way to handle this as we all wait for our checks they sent us. Unbelieveable! Do they have any idea how fast "bad word of mouth" travels on the net?

Post your general questions in my forum. I will get to them as I have time.

Cheers, Shark
"rocks n' rings wannabe"