Special Request For All My Donkelicious Readers!

Several requests to see my mistress and 2nd love of my life. click here damit, scroll down to view The big badass 21" twins. This is the best "set-up" available IMO. There are good, cheaper solutions out there, but these are coming down in price. Samsung 213T is the model. I run Pokertracker in between these or more likely try to answer 300 IM's (at once) from my loyal crew.

While you gaze in awe at my grrrrfriends read the eMarkM Advanced Tourney play article. Its really strong stuff and a must read (3 times please). I read it once a month (really). EMark, Email Shark for new tee please! address and size!

SPECIAL REQUEST! I need help! Will you please help a tired, broken down, ensure drinkin', depends wearin', 1 toofed (gold), Mr T starter kit sportin', Shark?

Heres the deal. I have the biggest list of Pro players websites in the world (onlineshark.com), also the biggest collection of pro screen names on the net.

I need to have the biggest everything. Not sure why, hmmmmmmmmmm. Any shrinks out there?

I'm looking for the largest, most comprehensive list of Poker Terms on the net! Also, I want the biggest list of "Shark terms" you can put together. This list will be posted here for all to see. Don't be silly or write terms that no one cares about. Be professional about this, please.

The WINNER will get sum serious Shark swag (gifts). Shark shirt, Fish Tank Hat and Caribe Sun shirt! Other things to (don't want to say, may be illegal in some counties).

I get lots of requests for help from you loyal members. Heres your chance! Plus, you get sum nice swag.

If you have the best list of Shark Terms and Poker Terms you get all above. Ready? Heres a quick example:

I need it in WORD please!

List 1, Poker Terms

MTT = Multi Table Tourney
STT = Single Table Tourney, or sit n go
LAGG = Loose, aggressive player
TAG = Tight Aggressive player (what Shark preaches. Don't cold call raises in limit Poker, raise first in pot, always be the aggressor or fold.

Okay you got the idea.......

List 2, Shark Terms or Sharkisms

Fuck = Fuck Shark swears a lot. Even though I don't on my other sites, this is my blog. It's mostly real life and I swear to make stories funnier (at least attempt to). Comedians swear a lot. It helps put an exclamation point on a story or gag. If you don't enjoy swearing (or the ocassional grrr with limited clothing pic) i'm not for you. No problem. Play in our Tourneys and have fun. I still like you if you don't swear or act the fool, like I do. If you want to comment on what I do or say, don't. I could care less (really). This is just a blog, change the channel if you don't like it.

grrrr = Girls, Ladies, Women
grrrrs = see above
grrrrrrfriend = same as above, as in: shit grrrrfriend you can toss sum chippies! (extra r's just means I type bad)

BORN! = Sharks right hand man. He runs special ops, is a Tourney stud and staked Shark playa. He is also my enforcer and has several offers to be a Hockey "goon" in the Industrial League in N. Quebec. 6-5, 250 and noted barroom pugilist, if Born is not yer friend...... its not good. Fortunately he is a great friend and helps me often. I need a list of Satellites or new screen name list he sends it to me. I got a bad "tude" member he goes to their home and politely handles the problem (joke). Also locates strip clubs, makes prompt grey goose runs, and drives the Shark limo when in Vegas. I reward him with entries in BIG money Tourneys including the Stars 700K and UB Guaranteed 120K. Soon he will win one, be famous and Gary812 will take over this important job. GAR! GAR!

Okay, you got the idea. I'm off to Spirit Mtn Casino in Oregon. Gonna play lots of Poker and kiss Raisin a bunch. I way overchicked. Did you get a Sharkism there? Raisin?? whats dat? I'll have sum good Poker stories soon. Starting at 6/12 w/kill then will move to 10/20 and up if catcha heater. (heater? hmmm? rush? hmm).

This list is important to me. I'm serious about it. Search engines find Poker terms and thats goood fer Sharkeee. Also, many newbies, greenhorns, greenpeas Poker players need to know what i'm talkin' bout cause I hate to type and I type alot. Short terms really help me out.

Go thru my old posts and explain my goofy choice of words. Some I make up right before I type. Weird...

If you don't win but do a nice job, I will send Shark Tees (free incl. postage) to you for helping me out. Maybe 3-5 more shrts depending on how many helpers I get.

Get to work! I realize many of you really appreciate my hard work and over 160 Tourneys we have played in the last year (mostly free). Show me sum love kids!

As always, I appreciate my great Army of players all over the World! Hi Goran! (Sweden) He already has a shirt (2?) But I mentioned him so send yer pretty blond wifes size to me and she gets a shark tee! Oh man, postage to sweden sucks! Email me buddee!!