Poker Road Warrior: Wheres my Shark Army?
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Saturday, October 08, 2005

Wheres my Shark Army?

Small turnout so far for todays excellent adventure as we face off against Young gun and feared Poker surgeon Scott Fischman. I added $25 for knockout on Scotty and $25 more to punk your hero, Shark.

I hate weak turnouts so................ we gonna kick it up a notch!

Please join escaped felon and Poker savant Sharky for a big Tourney 10/8 at Fish Tank Poker, 6PM EST. The winner of this event will take on da Shark in a steel cage death match, heads up for an additional $50 transfer into your Poker account for the win. The winner (bring it donk) will also receive a player profile and bragging rights for a month in our new and improved Onlineshark site. You can post any caption you like next to yer smilin' mug (within reason). How bout, “I took his weak, smack talkin’ ass down!” or "he played so bad, I thought it was Phil?" or "this lag couldn't beat Mark "the other Shark" Seif HU (heads up)! Ha! I like that one, get it?

Go to our Shark site to register ASAP. I will get as many late entries in as I can. Scott is ready and has called you all out in the street (kinda). Don't be a scared lil grrrrll. Get sum stones man! (apologies to my grrrrlfriends). My favorite part of Fish Tank is when legendary masta Doyle says "welcome to the Tournament everybody, lets shuffle up an deal!!" Its really a nice touch. I'd like my cell phone to ring that (can anyone tell me how to do?)

Your potential loss (potential, ha! you don't have a chance in hell) will also be posted (with my caption) so enter this $5 no limit sit n go at your own risk! If you are too scared (I understand) then we will go to the second place finisher. The over/under is 8th place before someone will tag the mighty shark with one toof. All heads up matches are 4 outa 7. Shark pays all game fees and will take your lunch money and laugh as he empties yer account if you desire a rematch. Lets dance, newb………..

Ask my trusty sidekick and Tourney stud Bornsupreme how the deuce-7 Triple Draw match HU with Sharky went at UB last week. hahaahahmuhahah. "Matt, go to bed, yer drunk" "yer jus lukbox ya fukin 1 toofed sark" "Matt, I took all yer money and transferred $30 more, go to bed" "nevr sean dis much bad draaws send me $30" "I just did you hillbilly, go to bed" "yer write sark, jsu sen me $20 then" Rematch time buddee!

All my degenerate gamboolers will not believe our new site design , data base and Tourney plan. Its being built and should be done by the end of the month. A ton of chances to win satellite entries and opportunities to make a big hit. Smack talkin' Shark mixing it up with heads up challenges and taunting scared newbies. What a friendly, kind and caring host. I never said I didn't have a chip on me shoulder. We gonna have sum fun kids! Look for it soon at

Mailed out 40 shirts today. Man thats alotta work. My sweet daughter Danny is my new helper and I showed her the post office and my dads postage machine. You Europe lags are fun for postage. If you are a long way away it may take a month to get there. I had to go cheap on postage. He said for what I paid sum guy in a speedo would swim it over. The shirts came out really nice and I already need a reorder after about 300 sharkees downloaded Pokershare and played about 20K hands just to be able to wear the coveted and sweet logoed Shark apparel. Thx for the support ya loonies.

Danny will be answering emails and helping to pay for her almost new car she bought (lil help from step-papa) a sweet 2005 Hyundai Elantra w/9K miles. all power, heated mirrors, side bags, 35 MPG and $11,200. How they do dat. Nice car. Was impressed by the weight of the hood. Its not a lil wimpy car anymore. 5 yr 60K bump to bump warranty also.

Thx to me bud Mike Keys a fellow car dog. He took good care of us and we laughed at his bad jokes and fixation with the neighborhood lawns. Look at that one, he has a putting green. That one there is in sad shape. Hmmmm, not a leave on that whole lawn. Okay, we get it ya kinky car dog, ya love grass! We stood in parking lots for too many weekends together as he was a top peddler and I was the dreaded "closer" (off site sales). The car biz, yuk I'd rather be takin' frat boys college funds at Pokershare. cha cha ching.....

Dannys pleasant replys to your 100's of questions daily will be a welcome break from my grumpy a$$ i'm sure. You try answering the same question 60 times in one day. Uh, well....ummm I lost my password can you send. Danielle: Sure no problem, let me direct you to the "forgot password button, you must have missed it helenrnurse" jopke


How bout instead of "forgot" there I spell it out on the new site for all you brain surgeons that have never seen that "forgot" button that is on every gd login page ever fukkin made. ah..ah...deep breathes shark...ooooohmmm....ohhmmmm. Had to get me aura back into alignment, that was close. Ok i'm all right (or as these crazy kids knowadays say "aight").

New site:

If you forget or lose your password, enter you email here and hit this fuckin button you moron. Then we will send you yer Goddamned password that you lose every ten fuckin minutes helenrnurse, jopke. Thx for yer support, have a nice day!

Sorry for lack of Poker action. Buried with Shark shit. Next weekend grabbin me lil darlin raisinhavok and its off to Spirit Mtn Casino for 3 days. It's by our fav tourist trap (Lincoln City, Or) and has a killer card room. Maybe 20 tables and lots of action. Gonna start at 10/20 and hopefully taste a few bigger games if I catch a heater. Live ring puts me to sleep (I like 4 tablin short handed) but we need a break and I gotta practice live so I can play/meet 30/60 with blogger legend tight agg. SeattleJohn ASAP.

Raisin will baffle the 4/8 kill chasers with her strong hand selection, enchanting eyes and sweet xxxx. I'm just doing the XXXX to see if she still is reading this blog after she agreed not to. Honeybunny is not real fond of my young niece walkin down the street pic I put up (the welcome Poker junkies post). "honey shes not bouncy bouncin", "shes just walkin to the store". "my players enjoy a pretty grrr with a nice tan HB". I couldn't sell it with a str8 face. Gotta work on that.....

Who wants a bounty? Come an get it losers!

Hugs and kisses, Shark


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